Batman and Co

NRUPCPU

By DAVID LAZELL

Bow come you got broke?' inquired the Police Commissioner in his usual impec- cable English. 'We elected you to get us out of trouble.'

'And where's the Whiz Kid?' interrupted the Mayor rudely. 'Him with all the brains.'

'I can't expect you to be one hundred per cent sympathetic,' replied the cloaked crusader. 'But I never claimed to be infallible.'

`You never said you weren't infallible,' sneered the Mayor. 'Offering to take over all our jobs for the sake of good government. No wonder the police got sore.' He turned to the agitated Commissioner. `By the way, where are the cops these days?'

'They all quit,' wailed the police chief. 'Didn't seem right to keep them on with the shortage of manpower and all. And the cloaked crusader had been doing all the work.'

`I've had a lot of expenses,' the popular hero said haughtily. 'Have you any idea how much the Speechmobile costs me to run?'

'We used your Speechmobile on business. It's nothing more than a '62 Mini with a battery tape- recorder in the back seat. That's the trouble with you, cloaked crusader—you're always exaggerat- ing' `And where's the Whiz Kid anyway?' said the Police Commissioner. 'He quit again?'

'He needed a holiday,' the crusader sniffed. `Things have got pretty tough for him. He's been in charge of finances ever since the crisis started. Before it started, in fact,' he added quickly. 'Why, you could say that he started it . .

At that moment, the Whiz Kid entered, smiling. He always smiled when the going got tough; that was why the cloaked crusader liked to have him around. The popular hero offered him a chair, and, from habit snatched it away as the Whiz Kid sat down.

'I realised we defenders of currency have got to stick together,' the Whiz Kid declared. 'It took me some time to convince my conscience.'

`This boy's ethical,' smiled the cloaked cru- sader, 'whatever the press says. I'm glad you're here, Whiz Kid. Now you can explain to all these people where the money went.'

`Holy Incomes Policy,' wailed the hero's assis- tant. 'Isn't there any fighting going on?'

`There'll be plenty of that later, my young friend. Remember that we have yet to face that fiercest of our foes, the annual conference. Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone. . .

_ 'This is no time for empty patriotism,' snapped the Mayor. 'Say, I never realised the cloaked crusader has shiny pants before . . . and grey hairs. . .

`Let this be a warning to you, Whiz Kid,' the cloaked crusader sighed. 'The price of leader- ship can be very high.'

'On the way up, or on the way down?' in- quired the innocent lad.

'You told us only a week ago,' the Mayor said to the impoverished hero, 'that there was no financial crisis.'

'I always tell the truth,' the cloaked crusader retorted. 'I didn't have the letter from the bank until the following morning.'

'But you've been overdrawn for months,' in- sisted the Mayor, waving a handful of gaudy „statements.

The cloaked crusader waved a gloved hand towards his assistant. 'I leave day-to-day prob- lems of administration to the Whiz Kid. I only cieclare on matters of policy. Besides which, I spent most of last week trying to sort out the fracas on East Side.'

'But what are we going to tell the people?' insisted the Mayor.

'What people?'

'The people,' shouted the Mayor. 'All this is going to mean heavy taxes and another budget,' he said sullenly. 'After all we said last election time.'

`There's no need for pessimism,' declared the cloaked crusader. 'It does people good to go without.'

`You're putting on weight,' replied the civic leader, prodding the cloaked crusader's stomach. 'Too much eating, not enough worrying. . . 'I'm willing to go before the people on tele- vision!'

But the Mayor ignored the bankrupt hero's offer, whispering to the Police Commissioner, 'Television? That's all he thinks about . . . and he's terrible.' Terrible to watch,' growled the Police Chief.

'Well, I've got a crisis to manage,' said the cloaked crusader with forced joviality. 'I'm deter- mined to put the economy on its feet again.' He rushed from the office, shouting, 'The world awaits me,' and fell down the steep flight of stairs outside. There was a gentle restful pause. `Say,' sniffed the Police Commissioner. 'Don't you usually go and help him?'

'No, sir. He usually falls on me.'

'I think he's groaning,' the Mayor mused.

'He does that whenever he wants sympathy,' the Whiz Kid explained. 'Just ignore him.'

'It's good to see he still has one friend left,' said the Mayor ironically.

The Whiz Kid, nodded quizzically. 'He's got to retire sooner or later!' he said. Then, seeing the despair on the faces of the others, added anxiously, 'Hasn't he?'