19 DECEMBER 1992, Page 76

A Christmas Story

Kids tearing into presents, pinching each other's favourite adding sauce to their meal of gifts, making themselves sick with laughter and chocolate from tree and stocking.

Crackers, opening salvos in the wars of the families. People taken apart like turkey. Yellow, orange and red hats flaming on heads, as candles burn up and splutter.

A time to be got through.

A time for wrapping yourself up in a tissue of red wine, a string of quiet expletives and giving yourself to yourself. A time to escape.

Driving over the Pennines where yellow light ices the motorway, and the frosted moor gleams like Christmas cake. Pushing the pause button on the endless merriment tape.

Chris Woods