{ Report' on the Last Competition COMPETITORS are to be

congratulated on their valiant efforts to provide a plausible explanation of the message, taken from the Personal Coluhni of the Times': `‘ Barry Island-I Send in homage the topaz of my silence-Your threepennybit."

The explanations offered were 'many and various some competitors tried to find a solution of the problem by means of a eode ; otherd sought to eirplairi this mkdSke by stories of lovers' pledges and broken troth signified by the return of the topaz ; another, in his effort to be super-inge- nious, invented a complicated detective story to account for this obscure sentence, but. the story did not hang together, neAher was it a complete explanation. The Rev. David Scott evaded the problem most successfully-by explaining apparent nonsense by obViOns nonsense in the following delightfully amusing entry •

Tweedledum suddenly sprang from Alice's side and .began'to tear his hair and screech and stamp just as he had dOpeTOri the day when he and Tweedledee agreed to have a battle. - - • • " Whatever is the matter now ? " asked Alice.

" That! "shrieked the little man, thrusting a crumpled telegram.

form into her hand. - Alice opened it and read : " Barry Islanti--I seiztlin homage the

topaz of my silince-Your threepennybit." - - ' ' •

" Who Sent this'," she asked, ` and whatever clues it mean ? "

" Who sent it ? " snorted Tweedledum• in acorn. ".Tw.eedledee of course. Didn't you -know that when tbe Red. King wakened I got him; to banish Tweedledee "to BritrY Toland because-lieSPOILT

MY -NICE NEW RATTLE ? . - `Alice knew of several Barrys in the"world,=.biit: slie•hroin't heard of Barry Island, so She asked a little timidly whereaboutri: it was. " Stupid ! " retorted the other. .`.!.Barry-Ialand.'s-.nawhere. -It's OFF THE MAP. That's why we've banished him to it." Alice was rather taken aback but went on : " Well, what's the meaning of the telegram ? "

" Don't you see," Spluttered Tweedledum, " he's laughing at me. He pretends homage, and then immediately he says he's sending the topaz of his silence. If a topaz of silence means anything, it means a topaz that won't rattle. It's all a calculated insult,,,---and by signing himself Your threepennybit, he's taunting me with a re- minder that that's whit I paid for MY rattle." - Here Tweedledum groaned and beat his temples with his 'fists, adding bitterly " He's published it in the Times too ! "

' Alice looked at him pityingly but was quite At a loss what to say. Then suddenly an idea struck her. " tell you what, Tweedle-

dum," she said. " We'll ask the Spectator about it. He's fright.- ..

fully good at personal problems, you know." REV. DAVID SCOTT, The Manse of Meares, Newton Mearns, . Renfrewshire.

The prize of five guineas is, however, awarded to Colonel C. 0. Place, who with the greatest ingenuity has succeeded in giving an explanation which is at the same time just. plausible and thoroughly entertaining :-

Lady Devenish came to Longminster as Conservative candidate.

I was the Liberal candidate, but we had not met. To get the Cathedral vote she made a speech on the " Sanctity of Marriage„4 hi which sheaaid " Just as the Heavenly City in Revelations was Mint on twelve jewelled foundations, so every happy marriage is built on the. joint possession of twelve virtues. Thus. Amethyst stands for amiability, Topaz for truth or fidelity, and so on . . .

The next week I was on Barry Island designing a new Lighthouse. lily only companion on the island was Jack, the handsome young Lighthouseman. My last day there I ran down to a cove to bathe and found Jack there, in the close embrace of Lady Devenish. Jack fled ; but she, taking me for another Lighthouseman, gave me a threepennybit, saying : " This is for a wager that you will forget What you have seen." The week after I met her at a dinner and we were introduced: She was to give her speech again that evening. Her host said:: " The Topaz you spoke of was not the modern stone, but Peridote derived from repidores, meaning a wager."

-" I think I hold a W.,ager of yours," I said to her.

" You are going to betray me, I suppose," she said with emotion. I replied coldly : " I will hear you first on ' The Sanctity Of Marriage,' and then publish my decision in the Times."

I sat immediately in front of her. Though, as I could see, she was jr despair, she spoke with such courage and eloquence that I sent this message to the Times:

" Barry Island-I send in homage the topaz of my silence Your threepennybit." COLONEL C. 0. PLACE,

Iliiish Honk,

Winterborne Zelstone, Blandford, Dorset.