Television
Funny women
Wendy Cope
French and Saunders (BBC 2) was one of the comedy programmes I intended to review last week but the tape went missing until after my deadline. Once I had stop- ped looking for it, it turned up again and I watched it. It was very funny. On Friday I recorded the second programme in the series and that was even funnier, in fact I was crying with laughter at one point, which doesn't often happen in front of the box. Several of the sketches were send-ups
of television programmes. In the breakfast show they reported a tragedy: 'Dawn's rabbit Thumper died this morning. We'll be asking the experts, "Who's to blame?"' A little later Dawn was asked to describe her feelings. 'You're actually crying, aren't you? Can the camera pick this up?'
In the best sketch (the one that made me cry) French and Saunders played two ballet dancers, who were the subject of a very reverent arts programme. In precious, weedy, upper-class voices the two women described the sacrifices they made for their art ('We're not anorexic. We just don't think eating's very clever') and waxed lyrical about its rewards: 'In ballet there are so many journeys through so many emotions. Like happiness, sadness. The greatest honour in ballet, of course, is to have a pudding named after you.' It would go against the grain for me to call a television programme unmissable but if you feel like putting down your book for half an hour on Friday evening, this looks like being the half-hour to pick.
Another of last week's targets was the discussion programme with a studio audi- ence. The presenter (Saunders) charged bossily around the studio with her mic- rophone while the audience (French) announced that she felt very strongly that she could agree or disagree with the issue. In Thursday's edition of Kilroy (BBC 1) the audience was invited to chew over a proposition that no reasonable person could disagree with, namely that 'women are entitled to dress provocatively without falling prey to sex attackers'. Yes, obvious- ly, said most of the women in the studio. Yes, obviously, agreed the men. 'Personal- ly I think you're rather attractive,' said one woman to Robert Kilroy-Silk. 'But that doesn't give me any excuse to come and get your trousers off, does it?' There didn't seem to be very much to discuss. All the same, it was a worthwhile 40 minutes, hammering home the point about not blaming the victim.
The best moment in the programme was when three women chanted together the feminist rhyme, 'Whatever we wear Wherever we go / Yes means yes / And no means no.' That chorus', commented the former judge, Alan King-Hamilton, 'is an exactly correct expression of the law on the subject.'
In The Media Show (Channel 4) Miriam Margoyles recalled the time she had been asked to play the part of a penis in the voice-over for a commercial but, sadly, she wouldn't repeat the performance. Nor did she say what on earth the commercial was for. If it was condoms, it must be a recent one and I'm sorry to have missed it so far. The Media Show is always entertaining and I'm glad it is now on weekly instead of fortnightly. To appreciate it properly one has to imagine how ghastly such a prog- ramme could be, with pompous, over- serious presentation. In Frocks on the Box (ITV) Muriel Gray's chirpy informality sometimes went over the top. However, in The Media Show she gets it just right.
One of the items in last week's program- me took a nice swipe at the prevalence of the designer family in current Hollywood movies. Now, there's a good subject for French and Saunders. I'd love to see them as sexy, sweet-natured designer wives.
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