Rolling Stock-Takers

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 439: Report by D. R. Peddy Competitors were asked to compose a Train Spotters' Anthem.

LONG have I laboured under the impression that, in their spare time from competing, competitors work, but now I feel that many of them must simply spend their time train-spotting, such is their expertise. Or did they pick the brains of their spotting progeny or pupils? James S. Fidgen openly acknowledges his indebtedness to a certain Form 3A, which should by rights receive his prize; let us hope that in recognition of their assistance he will overlook the fact that they may be less knowledgeable about French verbs or quadratic equations.

Throughout the entry 'Schools classes' jostled With bogies, 4-6-2s, diesels, standard-track gauges, and Pacifies, with an enthusiasm which should surely infect the sternest railway porter, en route to evict train-spotters from his platform. Did soy 'train-spotters"? Shame upon me; I am taken to task by B. John Prigmore, who is an enthusiastic locomotive spotter and has explained to me the distinction.

The aforementioned Mr. Fidgen earns two guineas, as doe J. A. Lindon (1 somehow see his entry as a skiffiFnumber rather than an anthem); Gloria Prince gets a guinea for really entering into the spirit of the thing, and so does Allan M. Laing.

Very good entries came from V. Langton, G. J. Blundell, J. E. Cherry, Marjorie Evans, W. K. Holmes, P. W. R. Foot, Margaret Dray, M. D. S. Taylor, W. G. Daish and H. A. C. Evans.

PRIZES

(JAMES S. FIDGEN) EXTRACT FROM TRAIN-SPOTTERS' ANTHEM

(With apologies to W. S. Gilbert)

All Class V 'Schools' like 'Eton; 'Winchester' and 'Sevenoaks' And those named after Tristram, Galahad and such- like blokes,

Or Guinevere and Melisande (those were the girls they kissed) I don't think they'll be missed, I'm sure they'll not be missed.

CHORUS:

We've got 'em on our list—we've got 'em on our list And they'll none of 'em be missed—they'll none of 'em be missed.

There's the 'Scotsman,' the `Riviera' and the 'Master Cutler,' too, They never will be missed, quite proudly we insist, And the train that by-passed Birmingham and took us on to Crewe We've got it on our list, even that one wasn't missed. All those ancient puffing billies that man Emett likes to draw, Those modern 'namers': `Tavistock,"Clovelly' and 'Exmoor,' All those 4-8-4s and 0-6-0s in Classes P or Q And the Diesel 'lectric Co-Co and the Diesel Bo-Bo, too We spot 'em ev'ry one with ease, you ask our oculist ! They'll none of 'em be missed—they'll none of 'cm be missed.

NB.—For the technical information contained in this, I am indebted to my pupils in 3A. It is accurate, unless they were pulling my leg!

(J. A. LANDON)

Near by the bridge up on the bank right on the ridge hearing the dankety-dinkety-clank

plinkety-plank

BLANKety-winkety-pinkety-pattering WHEEEEEP tarins jutting and smutting along the cutting clickety-BANG! bickety-clattering while we're scribbling in and shutting our so busy spotters' jotters noting down as we inspect it for each loco as it passes all the gen as we collect it all the numbers and the classes of the WHEEEEEEEEEEEEP trains!

(An attempt, of course. ;to „getthe appropriate rhythm of diddly-bomp diddly-bOnip diddly-widdly- biddly-bomp into the first half of the verse, so as to suggest the pasSing of -a train, and then glide un- obtrusively into a more normal metre, to suggest the comparative calm utter the train has passed; for the second half of the verse.)

• (GLORIA PRINCE)

ICS our delight to await and scan the puffers as they

pass (Though only some arc steam): To spot the number and the name, the general kind and class; While constantly we dream Of seeing a simply super sight : The fastest ever, the longest train, An atomic engine running light.

Stephenson's 'Rocket' used again, The Royal Train, a wonder jet . . . Though we haven't actually seen one yet!

But what is this approaching now? It's an ER pattern, see?

Oh boy, oh boy, oh gosh! It's the ER Class 'A4' Pacific Number Sixty-thousar d- a nd-three- lt's the Andrea' K. MeCosh!

Well, note it down, all unperplexed; Maybe our miracle train's the next.

(ALLAN M. LAING) THE TRAIN-SPOTTERS' ANTHEM

(Air : 'Men of Harlech')

Here we meet on railway platforms, Tall and short and lean and fat forms, Representing all the brat forms, Spotting railway trains. Handy notebooks holding steady, Well-sucked pencils at the ready, Through the busy crowds we eddy, Dodging luggage wains.

Sharp we are as weasels, Booking spots like measles : Expert eyes all recognise Newfangled types electric, steam or Diesels. No place here there is for guesSes: Certainties come like expresses : Numbers all record successes In our spot campaigns.