1 NOVEMBER 2008, Page 95

Q. I am on holiday in the tropics and a

member of the group who has no swimming trunks is parading in M&S black boxerstyle Y-fronts. I am worried because our host is due to arrive today and might regard this attire as a form of lèse-majesté, given that we are enjoying his hospitality at not inconsiderable expense. I feel responsible, as I invited him as a spare man and our host has not yet met him.

Name and address withheld A. Simply go into this man’s room when his back is turned and remove most of his clothes, including all his underwear. Explain that the cleaners misunderstood your instructions and are in the process of laundering the things. In the meantime, present him with a fait accompli — a pair of conventional trunks you have bought from a shop in the resort or else borrow a pair from another male guest. If, as I suspect, he is a bachelor, this may explain his uncivilised behaviour.