YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. .
Q. I have a problem. We often invite friends for dinner and serve caviar. One of our friends has a wife who, on seeing caviar, behaves more like a JCB than a civilised guest. Our other friends eat the delicacy in moderation; however, this lady serves herself with a tablespoon, not stop- ping to try anything with it, and eats it on its own. I feel like telling her not to indulge herself but I can't. We enjoy her husband's company at our dinners, but caviar may have to disappear due to the amount which she consumes. Roast chicken seems so dull as the alternative. What do we do?
Anon, SW1 A. One similarly provoked hostess of my acquaintance has found a solution to this problem. She serves the caviar in the form of 'Caviar Pie', a dish devised by Pamela, Lady Harlech. This pastry-free pie has a base made up of eight to ten chopped hard- boiled eggs coated in eight ounces of melt- ed butter and pressed down hard. Four ounces of sour cream are then added and topped with roughly six to eight ounces of caviar. The resultant 'pie' fills an eight-to- nine-inch diameter dish and is chilled in the fridge, from which it emerges ready to be cut easily into clearly defined sections. When caviar is on offer, you will find this plate accompli method a good one for con- trolling those who cannot control them- selves.
Q. My good friend and neighbour is Span- ish and she has kindly offered to converse with me for an hour or two each week to help me practise the language. I badly need these conversations but I would like to pay her for her time and trouble. She will not hear of it. I know the money would come in handy and it would make me feel much bet- ter. I would like to make a business-like arrangement with her but I cannot per- suade her to do so. Please advise.
M.E.B., Address withheld A. Why not outwit your neighbour by say- ing that perhaps you have not explained your position clearly? It is your godmoth- er/aunt/boss who has insisted that you have the lessons and accordingly is determined to pay for them. 'There's no point in my saying "I got the lessons free from a kind friend," because that will do him/her out of the satisfaction of having given me a pre- sent' You can then arrange for a friend, with whose name your neighbour is unfa- miliar, to write out a cheque in payment for the lessons in exchange for one in the exact sum from you.
Q. My wife and I returned recently from a holiday in Sydney, where we saw a lot of our son and his De Facto. We thought this Australian expression for live-in girl- friend/boyfriend jollier than Partner and infinitely preferable to Sambo, the demerits of which were recounted in a letter to you a few months ago.
KT, British Embassy, Sofia A. Thank you for your suggestion. I agree that 'De Facto' is preferable to `Sambo'. Either expression is superior to the now widely derided 'Partner'.
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