"Spectator" Competitions

RULES AND CONDITIONS

Entries must be typed or very clearly written on one side of the paper only. The name and address, or pseudonym, of the competitor must be on each entry and not on a separate sheet. When a word limit is set words must be counted and the number given. No entries can be returned. Prizes may be divided at the discretion of the judge, or withheld if no entry reaches the required standard. The judge reserves the right to print or quote from any entry. The judge's decision is final, and 11.0 correspondence can be entered into on the subject of the award. Entries must be addressed to :—The Editor, the Spectator, 99 Gower Street, London, W.C. 1, and be marked on the envelope Competition No. (—).

Competition No. 45 (SET BY " CARD.") A PRIZE of £2 2s. is offered for the best list of five original sayings which might be conveniently handed down to a future age as proverbs or adages born in the twentieth century. Parody or adaptation of existing proverbs is permissible.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, February 22nd, 1932. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of March 5th, 1932.

Competition No. 46 (SET ET " DCG1.t.") A PRIZE of E2 2s. is offered for an essay in not more than 250 words on Private Superstitions.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, February 29th, 1932. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of March 12th, 1932.

The. result of Competition No. 44 will appear in our next issue.

Limerick Competition No. 16

A PRIZE of £1 Is. is offered each week for a new and original English Limerick verse on some subject dealt with in the current number of the Spectator. The sixteenth of these competitions closes on Monday, February 29th, 1932. Entries should be marked " Limerick No. 16."

The result of the fourteenth of these competitions will be announced in our next issue.

[It is requested that to facilitate the work of the judges, entries should, when possible, be submitted on postcards.]

Report of Competition No. 43

(REPORT AND AWARD BY " CARD.") A PRIZE of £2 2s. was offered for the best list of five social Customs or institutions which, in the opinion of competitors, should be discontinued.

The entries for this competition showed a nice blend of prejudice and ingenuity. The objects of anathema fell sharply into two classes—the minor rancours stirred by affronts to personal taste and the grosser insults to national, or human, intelligence. Incidental environment also provided a stimulus to protest. A number of competitors from abroad inveighed solemnly against the formalities of the Customs Examinations; and the follies of promiscuous osculation, supposedly the distinctive foible of the Latin Races, came in for marked criticism.

Of the more domestic irritations, Tipping, Funerals, Evening Dress, Conventional Neckwear, The Cocktail Habit, Blood Sports, The Public Schools, Hiking, Lipsticking, Jazz, Corsets and Wedding Breakfasts carried off the laurels of disappro- bation. The newly born " Brenting," too, was not without its potential foes. H. A. L. Cockerell pleaded for the abolition of the Post-Mortem in Bridge and the Kissing of Stray Rela- tions. " Reform " voiced the disgust of the newly married at Mothers-in-Law and conventional choice in Wedding Presents. One competitor, more extravagant than critical, subscribed to his own certification by describing newspaper competitions as " inane." Apart from those mentioned above, the entries of Lady Laura Ridding, W. H. B., M. Sachs and " Campanile " are commended ; and the prize is awarded to " Agrippa," whose list is :

(I.) The habitual saddling of a defenceless infant with an alleged facial resemblance to its invariably hideous parents or relations. (H.) The Guardee Moustache.

(III.) The Newspaper Convention whereby the views of prominent (but frequently unreliable) racing tipsters on questions of theology, morals, folk dancingtechnique, or the education of the native are regarded as being of possible importance or interest.

(IV.) The habit of allowing tom-oats to wander unchaperoned and shatter the midnight with their music.

(V.) The Sunday Newspaper Ramp.

Result of Limerick -Competition No. 13 THE most popular subjects for Limericks this week were Shakespeare's Ghost, Spraying Nettles, A London Badger, Brenting, The Dartmoor Outbreak, Mr. W. B. Yeats's article on Ireland, and The Cabinet. The entries of Frau Dr. Reich, J. Lloyd Milne, A. Raybould, Mrs. Ford, G. N. Faulding, E. W. Fordham, Lieut.-Col. F. A. Goddard, W. Hodgson Burnet and E. Trevor Hardman are commended, and the prize is awarded to S. Barrington McClean, 21 Greenknowe Road, Newlands, Glasgow.

THE WINNING ENTRY.

SHAKESPEARE'S GHOST (page 149). Old Shakespeare appeared in a haze, The Professors gasped, all amaze. .

They asked him, " Who're you ? "

He said, " Thought you knew, I'm he who produced Bacon's Plays."

S. BARRINGTON MCCLEAN.

Highly Commended:

JAPAN AND SHANGHAI (page 130). This affair in the East, by-the-bye,

j

Makes a good Scots word jump to the eye. This bit of a row

Which is going on now Is a regular " collie-shanghai "

W. HODGSON BURNET.

A LONDON Rumen (page 143).

Said a Badger " I will not be stamped on. Here I am at the spot I first camped on. Though removed in a sack, I've a right to bo back.

My Municipal Burrow's Roehampton."

F. A. GODDARD.

SPRAYING NETTLES.

By spraying, the scientists say, We can keep pests, blight; mildew, away I • And as spraying now settles The problem of nettles, Our slogan should be, " Let us spray."

Mas. FORD.

SHAKESPEARE'S GHOST (page 150).

Tho author, you tell us, of Exit

Shakespeare writes an essay and wrecks it By trying to stake on

His ground more than Bacon, And thus, rasher grown, to annex it:

DAMON.

LISA EN4WPIZT ISSUES (page 133).

Disarmament issues exact The use of a disarming tact ;

But we'll use war's misuse As excuse for disuse If Disarmament issues in fact.

J. LLOYD MILNE.

Collieshan9ie (Scot). Noisy wrangling or fighting.