A DOUBLE PASSENGER.
Da. COLE, a personage of extraordinary obesity, whose mirthful re- cital of his grievances illustrated the truth of the adage "Laugh and grow fat," appeared before the Lord Mayor the other day, to complain of the conduct of the omnibus-drivers in refusing to ad- mit him into their vehicles. It seems, from the doctor's statement, that no sooner does his nortly form appear in view, than the omni- buses within hail immediately move off. "No room !" or "Quite full!" is the cry of the remorseless conductor. If by 'miracle the doctor should approach unperceived, and take them unawares, the passengers look aghast, and the cad shuts the door in his face. This should seem to be supererogatory, for the doctor can hardly be able to enter through the narrow doorway ; but they doubtless contemplate the inconvenience of the delay and hindrance to other passengers by his sticking fast in the attempt. Indeed, the doc- tor seems in a fair way of reducing his weight by a perpetual foot- chase after coy omnibuses. The Lord Mayor hinted that walking might remove the inconvenience, by diminishing his bulk. The doctor was horror-struck at the thought. He has got fat by turn- ing the diseases of others into commodity; but to make his own cure itself, seemed to the doctor an utter impossibility. What is the poor man to do? The cabmen are deaf to his call, and blind to his beckoning finger; and Jarveys tremble for their springs. To keep a gig, would be doubly expensive on the score of wear and tear : besides, one hbrse could never draw such a man-mountain for many days together. If he can get into an omnibus, the re- medy is easy : let him pay double fare, and occupy two places. It is manifestly unjust that "two single gentlemen rolled into one" should travel as an individual. As well might the Sia- mese Twins have called themselves one passenger seeing they
• were indivisible. We put it to the good sense and fairness of the • worthy doctor, whether he can rationally expect to be accommo- dated with the room of two persons at the price of one seat? He should consider himself a double man, and book his places accord- ingly, whether in omnibus or mail-coach, at the theatre or at church. There is an inconvenience, however, attendant upon this course; and as it actually occurred to a personage of similar di- mensions, we mention it to put the doctor on his guard. This ag- • glomeration of humanity, when he wal compelled to be locomo- tive, always consulted his own comfort and that of his fellow-tra- vellers, by booking two places for himself. On arriving at the mail on one occasion, he found, to his dismay, that though there were two places left for him, they were on opposite sides of the coach ! Let Dr. COLE avoid such a dilemma, by booking himself as a double passenger—a dual unit—a binary individual.
HANDEL, whose appetite was as far beyond that of ordinary mortals as is the person of Dr. COLE, used always to order his din- ner for two. Being one day unusually hungry, he extended his order to three; and coming into the tavern at the appointed time, inquired if all was ready ? He was told that it was, and that the dinner would be brought up as soon as the company arrived. "Den bring it ub," said the great composer; "I am de gombany." So it may be said of Dr. COLE; he is an impersonate co. He is not one man, but a party ; or at least self and friend. He is never solus.
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