YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. An architect friend is engaged upon the restoration of an old coach house for which he had occasion to meet a structural engi- neer on site in my absence. During that visit he was seen by a gardener to take some ripe figs, which I had been nurturing, from a tree in the adjoining garden. Later in the day, I was astonished to find the figs gone and when I learned the full story I resolved that my friend be told of my dis- pleasure and of the fact that the figs were destined for a friend who is ill with cancer. But how do I deal with this situation with- out appearing to be petty or greedy or caus- ing considerable embarrassment between friends? Only you would know.
D.B., Cranbrook, Kent A. Your architect friend's thoughtless ges- ture deserves to be punished. Arrange another immediate site meeting, then say, 'Oh, by the way, come into the garden and see these lovely figs I've been nurturing for poor X who is in hospital with cancer.' Lead him to the tree and wait silently while he splutters out his confession.
Q. I am a graphic designer and my occupa- tion became known locally after I started producing the parish magazine for my church. I am now often asked by acquain- tances to design posters and so on for vari- ous functions. Sometimes these requests are prefaced by the words, 'Can you just . . . ' and, while I recognise that my job is a humble one, when I hear these words I have to suppress a response which is dis- tinctly uncharitable. There is a limit to the amount of free work I am able to do and I would be grateful if you could provide me with a suitable response to these unwanted requests.
MM., London SW16 A. Next time you are asked, reply pleasant- ly, 'I'm sure that would be fine but can you just check with the girl who organises my free work diary to see when I can fit it in for you?' Then give the telephone number of a friend who is willing to heave a sigh and rustle papers before telling callers that sadly you are too booked up to fit in the artwork they need until after their deadline has passed.
Q. I have one of the famous Fat Ladies com- ing to dinner Is it correct form to give them food from one of their own recipe books, or should one burrow through old Constance Sprys etc. to find dishes such as chaudfroid of chicken or escalopes de veau Holstein?
Name and address withheld A It would be quite wise to attempt maybe one dish on each occasion that the Fat Lady dines with you. but if the whole meal was drawn from one of her own books it would look apish and excessively sycophantic as well as possibly putting a social strain on the Fat Lady herself. A more subtle means of reinforcing your compliment might be to supplement the chosen dish with some recipes from Mrs Beeton, such as boiled cauliflower with white sauce or fricassee of lamb. This would serve to highlight the excellence of the Fat Lady fare by contrast.
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