21 DECEMBER 1951, Page 26

The New Housemaid

(Christmas, 1894) This 'ere's a blink in' place, 221-B: You carn't do nothink right, mostly because 'Oo wants when, and what ? Cawfee ? Early tea ?

When I listened, snoring a treat they was ; Now 'Olmes's bath's too cold, Doctor's too. 'ot,

Their-Eggs is boiling solid in the shell.

'Ow do you twig 'oo's oo, and when, and wot ?

But Mrs. 'Udson says . . . Oh Gord, the bell !

House, lodgers, maid, all gone. The pavement's there Which hansom, growler, even royal brougham Scraped in hot haste for desperate appeals.

Baker Street, your memorial is where On the way to the consulting room This was the kerb that ground a thousand wheels.

CFIRI§TOPHER MORLEY.