Press
Suicide squad .Grundy
You will remember that when told lo desist, in case he hurt himself, the madman replied, "If I can't bang lirlY head against my own mantelPiece, whose mantelpiece can I hang it against?" I am reminded of that story every time I look at the newspaper industry. This week I aril reminded of the story even When I'm not looking at it. You may remember that a week ,,aao I mentioned, in passing, that °Coop, Evelyn Wauglis hilarious novel. about Fleet Street, was still essential reading for anybody anting to understand "this mad Industry." Well, I wrote wiser than I Wotted. For I am now convinced the industry, or at least some part it, has gone clean out of its mind. ir You believe much, or even any, of What I say in this column, you will realise that the national press is in a Pretty parlous state. It is always 'Press in a Mess' Week. Given the condition of the patient, it would seem unwise to apply leeches to suck away even more of its fastthinning blood. But that is what the Patient itself appears to be doing. „ The National Graphical Associa_Lion, a group of craftsmen who gccount themselves the most Skilled of the six print unions, seem have decided not only to apply ,eeches, but to get into a warm path, take a dozen Mogadons and a oottle of scotch, turn on the gas, Play Russian Roulette, and slit their veins as well, just to be on the safe side. For the, sake of what is Probably worth about a measly 20p a week after taxation at the rate Ittlost NGA members enjoy paying, ite union is prepared to kill the pose which for so long has been taliing its golden eggs. It proposes .0 take what is laughingly called 'ndustrial action, which means, of course, industrial inaction. Or not
to put too fine an edge on it, the stupid bloody idiots are proposing to go on strike.
The reason for this lunacy is that they want an extra 40p a week to show just how superior they are to their fellows. This is known as a differential which I, in my ignorance, had always assumed was an adjective, as in the name of that well-known I ariusical instrument, the differential calculus, but which I now know to be a noun as well.
Now I c10. not know just how superior Your average NGA member is , to his brothers in SOGAT, NATSOPA, S1,ADE, and all the other bewilderingly-initialled unions lying around the industry. But if it's only a nett 20p a week I wouldn't have thought it all that worth bothering about. And I most certainly wouldn't have thought it wOrth bothering about if, in trying to. achieve it, you pull down the whole house of cards.
For if there is a strike of any magnitude, it is more than likely than one or two papers will go under. This is a bad time for newspapers in general, and for some in particular. I cannot see the Daily Express or the Daily Mail relishing a long lay-off. Nor will the Mirror enjoya sustained period of non-publication, especially after the millions of copies they've lost in the last fortnight. For, as nobody ever gets tired of pointing out, the press is not like a sausage factory. Have a strike there and, when it's all over, everybody works like mad, putting in thousands of hours at time and a half, to make up the grievous sausage shortage the country finds itself suffering from. Not so with newspapers. With the best will in the world, and assuming that you (and even I) want to help the industry out of its difficulties, I cannot see us asking the various papers to print copies of the days we missed due to a strike. No, once an issue has been missed it has gone for ever. You've saved the cost of that amount of expensive newsprint of course, but precious little else, and you've lost a packet. Newspapers these days cannot afford to lose a packet, not even one small enough to go into a purse.
But Mr .John Bonfield of NGA announced last week that "Our action will go ahead as planned." He didn't add, but could have: "And we look forward to the rapid disappearance of several of our places of employment." Mr Len Murray regrets that the TUC find themselves upable to "intervene to help resolve the dispute with the NGA, which is not in membership of the TUC.'.' Of course it isn't, having been expelled by the TUC itself over thelmatter of registration under the Industrial Relations Act. Mr Murray, however, hopes "that a way can be found in the near future of restoring the NGA to affiliation of the TUC, When the Association will be able to play its full part in the TUC Printing Industry Com mittee which will shortlyleft lY be established," By. which time there may not be much'printing industry for it to worry about. And all for 40p! You will remember that a kingdom was once lost, and all for want of a nail. This way madness lies. Anybody got a Mantelpiece handy?
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