SPECTATOR SPORT
JUST AS the primrose Wisden blesses April, so certain proof that the festive sea- son is upon us is the arrival of the annual Sportspages Almanack. Stockings should be enthralled to be filled by it, and it costs only a penny less than a tenner. While this year it doffs its check cap to the gods of the game like Gooch, or mil- lionaire madmen on Michelin like Mansell, Sportspages, as ever, trawls wider and deep- er in its efforts to find who really cranked the merry-go-round in 1991. Was Nigel Mansell, in his flameproof Y-fronts and crash-hat, really as daring as 12-year-old Edwin Ortiz? Young Ed this year became the 14th youth to die in New York while enjoying the craze for riding on the top of lifts in skyscraper blocks and jumping from one to the other.
Was Graham Gooch's dogged skill against Curtley Ambrose and Malcolm Marshall necessarily more brave and resourceful than the Fleet Street tabloid reporter who, with the clandestine daring of an espionage agent, first enrolled secret- ly for the Gay and Lesbian Weekend at Butlins, Skegness, and then had the bottle not only to enter, but to win first prize in the Handbag Throwing Contest? (Men from rival papers came third and fourth).
Annual time
Frank Keating
On BBC TV the other night, Desmond Lynam handed over the trophy to the view- ers' alleged sportsman of the year after weeks of plugging no more than a handful of short-listed jocks. Why didn't Lynam even suggest Tim Garner or Adrian Atkin- son for the title? In February's blizzards, 20-year-old Garner took six hours to get from Loughborough to Essex to play a sec- ond division squash match — and a further 11 hours to get home. In between journeys he lost his match inside 40 minutes.
For dedication to sporting duty, a special award this year for Carl Shimmin, gateman at the Royal Windsor Horse Show? Carl: `Sorry, love, you can't come in 'ere without a sticker.' Queen Elizabeth II: 'But my hus- band is taking part. I think if you check I might be allowed to come in and watch him.' Said Carl later: 'I thought it was just some old dear who'd got lost.'
All logged, deadpan and dutifully, in 1991's irresistible Sportspages. Global_ too: did you know that there are 1,840 regis- tered soccer referees in Burma, but only 1,231 registered soccer players? Errata slip of the year must be the apology inserted in the US edition of the book Easy Sky-Diving. It read, 'Page 7, Line 8, delete "state zip code" and insert "pull rip cord".'
England staged an event so massive in 1991 that it left the ratepayers of Sheffield millions of pounds in debt, but went unno- ticed most places beyond Rotherham. But Sportspages' intrepidly resplendent Mat- thew Engel was there to report the big sto- ries from the World Student Games: 'Five women gymnasts were docked 0.5 of a point for wearing their leotards cut too high; the Uruguayan footballers poured orange juice over their boots so it would dry stickily and improve their ball control; three Mozambican athletes took a training run down an invitingly long, wide road the M1; and Zimbabwe's women's hockey team played seven matches, scored no goals and conceded 107: 'I'm saving more than are going in, and that's a beautiful feeling,' said their goalkeeper, Janet Chakunda.
An especially Happy New Year to Janet.
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