Your Problems Solved Dear Mary Q. I have booked a seaside hou
1.7j SOU] Dear Maly Q. I have booked a seaside house in Devon for a week in August — largely for the benefit of our 15-year-old son who refuses to get on with inviting a couple of friends to join him there. He says that no one will want to commit themselves until 'nearer the time' but I feel that part of the fun of a holiday is the anticipation of this fun and the planning of activities. This we cannot do until we have known quantities. And what if no one is free at the last minute? What do you recommend, Mary?
S.G., London W11.
A. The Young are being made very unhappy by the provisionalism which characterises all their social arrangements and which is conspired at by their supine parents. Simply overrule his objections and, choosing two agreeable boys from his circuit, start dialling their mothers' numbers in front of your son. This will galvanise him. He may object to your choice and get on with nominating other boys. More likely, though, he will be totally relieved by your fait accompli.
Q. My husband, who has always been strong, energetic and fit as a fiddle, has just suffered a minor heart attack. This was not caused by obesity, stress or smoking but by a narrowing heart valve. It was a structural problem rather than a health one and swiftly corrected with a stent to let the blood flow through normally again. Now, when telling friends our news, I find it annoying to hear them gasping that they knew there was something wrong with him the last time they saw him because 'he didn't look at all well and I was so worried about him'. Why do I find these comments so annoying, Mary, and how should I respond?
S.T., Chirton, Wilts.
A. Of course they are annoying. With the benefit of hindsight, people love to delude themselves that they had prophetic insight. These remarks have everything to do with self-importance and nothing to do with sympathy. They imply negligence on your part as well as on their own. If they really did think he looked ill, why did they not say something at the time? Put these people in their place by saying pleasantly, Well it just shows how wrong one can be because, funnily enough, he said exactly the same thing about you after your last meeting.'
Q. Chatting with a friend the other day we were reminded that, as younger women, we were both subjected, on several occasions, to something older readers will remember as 'flashing'. This no longer seems to happen to us and we wonder whether it is because we are older now or whether the practice has simply died out.
P.S., London W.8.
A. Flashing is now largely performed on the intemet via web cams. It also manifests itself in the proliferation of spam emails inviting one to purchase flashing-related, goods such as Viagra.
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