Country life
Spoiling for a fight
Leanda de Lisle
This fellow wasn't some loopy member of the squirearchy, but a very successful journalist. His move to the shires hasn't done him any good, the isolation apparent- ly having brought out an eccentric streak. Would I fight for the monarchy? The Windsors? Was I prepared to die for Prince Charles and Mrs Parker Bowles? `That would depend on the alternative,' I said. My friend suggested President Blair and a European superstate. 'Well, Tony Blair isn't that bad,' I thought. As for Europe, what kind of superstate were we talking about? I wouldn't allow myself to be cast in the role of Steven Spielberg's Mrs Ryan, with my three sons on some front-line, if there wasn't a Hitler or a Napoleon involved.
I'm not sure where the Scots were sup- posed to come in all of this. I assume my friend is worried about the destruction of the Britain we were born in, but, like other Englishmen these days, he seemed to be spoiling for a fight. Being part Scots myself, I find it hard to see them as foreign, and in any case it's most unlikely there would ever be a straight Scottish/English civil war. The Scots like fighting each other too much for that. But he seemed to be suggesting that it would be one of monarchists versus repub- licans, little Britons versus Europeans, Right versus Left. Where would that leave the countryside? If there are signs of unrest anywhere, it is here. Housewives who were once pillars of the community conspire with butchers and stockmen to break the law so they can enjoy a cheap rib of beef. The hunting fraternity talk about making cavalry charges down Cheyne Walk. Policemen spend time spying on the farmers who picket businesses that buy imported meat. There is a sense of `them' and 'us', and it's easy enough to imag- ine a situation in which there might be riots. But if there is anyone who thinks they could exploit this to the point of civil war they have to have their heads examined. Farmers have no more reason to believe the Right has their interests at heart than the Left. Our future King Charles, a friend of Peter Mandelson, is scarcely the warrior type and this government was democrati- cally elected. But the thought remained; what if? My family fought for Charles I and I was always rather pleased that, right or wrong, they were at least romantic. HoWeV" er, I'd have to say that if I were to fight for anyone it would have to be for Tony Blau' There's a thought. But what surprises me is that anyone could say anything different; An anti-democratic monarchist faction nr, right-wing nationalists would be wrong and repulsive. I asked my weekend host how he would reply to the question: would you fight for the monarchy if the majority, people had voted for a republic? With°11; any hesitation he replied, 'Of course would. We'd all fight for the monarchy, wouldn't we?' The whole idea of a civil War is absurd, yet I am still upset by it. I Iniag: ine war is more pornographic than roman,. tic, and, in a civil war, you don't just watch your friends die, you have a hand in them.
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