COMPETITION

cX

Alphabetics

J aspistos

IN COMPETITION NO. 2158 you were invited to emulate the poem beginning 'An Austrian army, awfully arrayedRoldly by battery besieged Belgrade. . ', using eight consecutive letters of the alphabet.

By the way, can anyone tell me who wrote `An Austrian army'? I have searched in vain. The author, whoever he was (male, certain- ly), becomes fairly desperate as he approach- es zed: 'Wisdom wails war, wails warning words. What were/ Xerxes, Xanthippe, Ximenes, Xavier?' What indeed?

Well done all who managed to keep the right side of gibberish. The prizewinners, printed below, get £15 each (nearly two quid a line!), and the bottle of the Macallan Single Malt Highland Scotch whisky goes to Keith Norman. Richard Morse, please supply your whereabouts.

Aged actor advances arthritically,

Begins booming Beckett, bows, benignly beams.

Casting committee, conferring critically, Delaying decision, defers damning dreams.

Elfin enchantress, eagerly emoting, Forces fake fury, facile flim-flam, Girlishly grinning, grimacing, gloating.

Hers hits hysteria; his hails him ham.

(Keith Norman) Awful audible announcers, Bruisers bowling brutal bouncers, Clustering catchers chances claiming, Dogged defenders, dour, disdaining, Early exits, efforts endless, Form-forsaken failures, friendless.

Gathering gloom greets growing gale. Homeward, hopefuls. Heaven-sent hail! (J.N. McEwan) Australia, Ave and Adieu!

Boatmen, boxers — brawny beauty - Clever cyclists, coxless crew, Duly did distinguished duty.

Eleven eclats, each extolled; Faulds fired finest, Finn fired foam!

Glorious, glamorous, garnered gold, Happy harvest, heading home. (Richard Morse) Above, all's azure: acridly alight, Burn brazen bonfires, boisterously bright. Conkers, contending children's copious crop, Detaching delicately, downwards drop. Enthusiastic enmity excites Footballing frenzy, fans' ferocious fights. Groves, glory gone, grow gloomier: grey ghosts Haunt hedgerows, heralding hoar Hiems' hosts. (Godfrey Bullard) Jezebel Jay joins Junta's jamboree, Knifes knee-breeched kingly kinsmen knowingly.

Lacklustre Lords, lamenting, leave loved lair. Mo Mowlam's moved. Mad maverick Marxist mayor, Newt-nursing nuisance, now nags neutered nation.

Orangemen's obscurantist obfuscation Proves Peace Process precarious, Papists prickly.

Quell quarrels? Quite quixotic! Queen, quit quickly! (Thomas Braun) Adam, an archetypal ancestor,

Blissfully began, by bounteous beauty blest; Cheerful companion comforted, caressed. Devil devised duplicity dehors. . .

Enjoying Eden, Eve eventually erred, Fell for forbidden fruit, forgetfully.

God grieved, gave guilty gardeners guarantee: Heaven had heeded humans — He had heard!

(Geoffrey Riley) AdoIfs airborne arms attack Bomb-burnt Britain, battered black. Cunning Churchill's calming courage Daily dismisses Deutschland's damage. England eyes extermination From frenzied Fiihrer's fulmination; Greatness greets grim Goering's guns, Halting Hitler's hellish Huns.

(Andrew Brison) Feeling Fate's flimsy filament fray, Going gradually ga-ga, grizzledly grey? Horizons hazy, hopes historical, Implied insouciance ironical?

Judge joys judiciously — junk jarring jinks; Keep kindling kisses, kip king-size, kick kinks. Live life leoninely, lordlily laze: Mastering mellowness makes Munchs Monets.

(W.J. Webster) `Arise, Australia!' Australia arose, Bewildered, beautiful, but bellicose, Company-craving. Cheers, cobber! Clink! Diggers defy description downing drink. Every evening eventually ends - Forty Fosters finished, five fresh 'friends'. Great gamesplayers, granted. Goolagong. . . Garden gnomes, However, haunt her heritageless homes.

(Hamish Macbride) Autumn appalling! An awful affair.

Britain beleaguered. Big bosses blame Blair. Camelot crisis. Conservatives cheer.

Dome's damn disagreements don't disappear. Ecclestone's echoes erupt everywhere. Furious fighting, for fuel's far from fair. Gordon growls grimly. Government gropes. However, Hague's happy. He has his high hopes! (Jill Green)