/iNA r/AN 1..■N
Corridors
May God ever preserve the liver of that good and saintly man, Dr Reginald Bennett, Chairman of the Commons Kitchen Committee. Taking over the cellars of the Commons which had been ravaged by that grey socialist Robert Maxwell, the kindly Tory member surveyed a scene of total disaster. A red noxious fluid passed for claret and the grey pall of socialism had blighted the grape harvest in a way that made phylloxera vastatrix seem like the common cold. Now wine tasting has been re-established, wines young vivid, pretentiously amusing, grave, mellow, pertinent and hallowed are at hand. Col Colin Mitchell has stated his satisfaction with regard to the port well.
Mr Enoch Powell writes to Mr Editor as follows: "Tom Puzzle's account (15th April) of events on 21st April, 1968, not only bears no resemblance to the truth but puts Mr Heath is so unfavourable a light that, in fairness to him, it ought to be corrected at once. The facts are as follows.
"At that time I had no telephone in my house at Wolverhampton, but my agent's home number was available to the Whips' office and this is how Mr White law passed a message to me to ring him and Mr Heath. The entire yarn of Mr Heath's rudeness to a telephone operator is therefore not only fictitious but impossible. I am obviously not free to disclose the conversation between Mr Heath and myself, but I am entitled to state that, as Mr Whitelaw would confirm, it bore no resemblance whatever to Tom Puzzle's account and was entirely courteous and relaxed on both sides.
"It is perhaps worth adding that I have never made a speech in which the expression 'rivers of blood' occurred."
Tom Puzzle stands corrected, and apologises to Mr Powell and to Mr Heath. Mr Powall, I learn, has sent a copy of his letter to the Prime Minister's private office.
Tom Puzzle is a sentimental fellow so he calls the attention of the Chancellor of England to the sad case of the little ballerina who above all else wanted to stand on her own feet without grants, tax concessions, or even a subsidy to re-build her point shoes. Finding herself without a job she industriously carried on her training every day to fit herself for future opportunities. But she could not abide the thought of living off the State.
So she obtained part-time work in a shoe shop in the Strand with a special arrangement to rush up to her ballet classes to keep fit. The State was not impressed. First she had to pay her own insurance stamp. Then the tax man informed her that she owed him a lot.
Puzzle thinks the situation outrageous. Mr Davies has been issuing golden crutches to lame ducks. What will the gallant Mr Barber do for the delicate swans?, For the advice they now receive is to go on the dole rather than work.
Previous page
