YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. .
Q. Which puddings are fashionable at the moment?
T.C., Powis Terrace, London W11 A. Successful hostesses are currently serv- ing Ben and Jerry's vanilla ice-cream accompanied by melted Toblerone. This hardens on impact and so can be used as a coating. Alternatively, it can be added, in coagulated form, to the side of the plate Where its heat can be briefly retained for contrast purposes.
Q. A South African friend of mine has moved into a house with three other males, one of whom habitually licks his personal knife clean before returning it unwashed to h Is cupboard. This lapse of hygiene is driv- ing my friend demented. He has learned, however, that his preferred method of cor- recting this breach of etiquette (a swift Tight hook to the jaw) would not only land him in the dock, but result in him paying Out large sums to the offending party. Ask- ing the knife-licker to desist outright would °illy lead to embarrassment all round. Is there a subtler method?
G. C., Walthamstow, London E17 A. It sounds as though your friend may be living in rather primitive, squat-style accommodation. It should therefore be an inexpensive exercise for him to pop along to a kitchen shop and buy up a small num- ber of serrated knives. He can use these to replace the house's existing supply. There is no pleasure to be gained from licking a ser- rated knife, so your friend will soon see an end to the nuisance.
Q. I have ,a very difficult elderly cousin who upsets the whole family when she comes to stay. When I lived in England I could get out of the difficulty with various excuses, but now I have moved to an idyllic island off the coast of Portugal and so am trapped when she suggests visits to us. I put her off once, claiming the house full of children and their friends, but was lately sent a list of dates for me to Choose which was conve- nient for her visit. How do I answer this? I really cannot have her again.
Desperate, Azores A. Write to your cousin a letter along the following lines: Since moving to the Azores I have had time to embark upon a course of psychoanalysis. As I have always been so fond of you it came as a great shock to find that you have become the repository of feelings of hostility which should rightly be directed towards my mother [or father, depending on which side of the family this cousin hails from] but which I have subconsciously transferred onto you. My analyst says that this is a very common syn- drome and that now we have recognised it we can try to work through it together.
In the meantime, however, he tells me I am likely to have extreme reactions for a while vis a vis you and certain other members of the family, and he strongly advises against your paying me a visit. I know that analysis can go on for years but when it is over I must book you in for a really lengthy visit to make up for the lost time.
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