22 MAY 1982, Page 32

Co mp e ti t i on

No. 1219: Not quite tennis

Set by Jaspistos: Please provide an aghast (but not, I hope, prophetic) Wimbledon radio commentary during a match which surpasses anything to date in the way of outrageous behaviour on the part of players, officials and/or spectators. Please use imaginary names and confine yourselves to 150 words. Entries to 'Com- petition No. 1219' by 4 June.