Q. If my memory serves me, N.J.T. from Lines wrote
to you in May 1999 about a couple who, without so much as a word, brought their dog to stay, causing predictable disruption to both hosts and hosts' pets. Unless I am mistaken this is the very same couple who arrived for dinner at my own house last week, accompanied by this unusual-looking woofer, apparently an 'Ascot Terrier'. While we were having drinks before dinner, this hooligan climbed on to the dining table and ate our first course of non-farmed smoked salmon from every plate. Really, Mary, when will they learn?
P.C.J.D., London SW1 A. Perhaps when you turn up for lunch or dinner at their house with a borrowed parrot in tow. Say that you are sure they will understand that it has to come out of its cage as it would otherwise be crueL Parrots can be guaranteed to terrorise fellow guests, alighting on their heads, often 'going' on them; they will chip away at gilt frames, pull the pins out of picture hooks and unpick the metal interlay of boulle furniture. Express disappointment when upbraided, protesting that you only brought the parrot because you thought they so adored delinquent animals.
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