YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. A friend of mine, a distinguished achiev- er in his field, recently gave a talk on art to some sixth-formers at a smart public school. I was present at the event. After his stimulating talk my friend invited questions from the audience. I had expected the pupils would be sophisticated enough to have a few questions and certainly to have had the manners to make some up if they did not, but the hall was silent. Despite my friend's coaxing, no questions or comments of any kind were forthcoming and we all squirmed as the embarrassment mounted. What would you have done, Mary?
G.W, London W1 A. The collective mood of a sixth form is unpredictable since it is usually subject to the lead given by the so-called 'coolest' member of the class. Speakers should not even bother to test the water but instead should go directly into an aggressive Ques- tion Time format, picking out specific members of the audience and demanding, for example, 'You with the glasses and blonde hair in the front row. Do you want to paint like Picasso? And if not, why not?' and so on. Once the ice has been broken by the sound of other silly voices talking, the rest of the class will find the courage to
Dear Mary. .
put their own genuine queries to the speaker.
Q. At a dinner party in Paris a friend, who is a Scottish journalist famous for her directness, asked me, a sufferer from leukaemia, 'Is your natural ebullience cov- ering up the fact that you are dying?' I couldn't think of a reply. Can you?
L.B., Bellac, France A. You could have taken the wind out of her sails by replying, 'Well, as a devout Christian and believer in the afterlife, I have every reason to feel ebullient. I am looking forward to passing on to a form of paradise, far better than any Paris dinner party.' You could have then been equally direct in requiring some honest answers from her as you picked her forthright mind on her own beliefs, feelings and training in this area and nodded in silent encourage- ment as she struggled to articulate them.
Q. Re questobabble, my sympathies are with your correspondent M.W. (1 Novem- ber). I too have become a recent victim of the contagious habit of ending all my sen- tences with a verbal question-mark. Fur- thermore, as a Hong Kong resident, I was disturbed to learn that the affliction has already spread to both the United Kingdom and the United States. My own theory regarding the source of the intonation is that it is of Antipodean derivation and that its prolific reach can be attributed to the ubiquitous presence of Australian and Kiwi solicitors in the Anglo-Saxon business world.
MA, Hong Kong A. Thank you for your comment. I under- stand that questobabblers can find it effec- tive to wear sportsman's gumshields to help them break the habit.
The author's book, Dear Mary . . . Your Social Dilemmas Resolved, is published by Constable at 0.99.
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