Q. It is my wife’s birthday in a few days,
and due to the credit crunch, I have not a farthing to my name. Moreover, it’s a particularly important birthday, her first since we have been married. To make things even worse, my wife’s favourite motto is ‘Start as you mean to go on!’ What can I do in this absolutely hopeless situation?
B.T., Norfolk A. There is something you can give your wife which will be worth far more to her than almost anything that £100 or so could buy. That is your commitment blindly to obey her for, say, ten hours. They need not be ten continuous hours but can be broken down into 20 half-hour units of pleasure. For her to be able to summon you to produce, on demand, and without criticism or impatience, sundry luxury services such as massages, reading aloud, fetching and carrying while she lolls back on sofa or bed would be a true luxury. It would also be a means of staggering your display of devotion over many days rather than just the one-off moment when you hand over the traditional present of purchased goods.
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