A. The overhandfork po.sifion to which you refer is not
even practised in the 'flyover states' of the American interior (where food is vertically impaled with the left hand and sawn up with the right into Kennomeat-style chunks). Your name and address were not withheld from me and! can confide to readers that you hail from a sophisticated background and, indeed, that you enjoy professorial rank It is therefore clear that your motive in holding your fork incorrectly is purely to annoy your wife. You should grow up conform to civilised standards and try to set an example to those youths who may be looking to you for guidance.
Q. I am a newly appointed QC and wish to retain my dignity in public. I find this difficult if presented with one of those fashionable salads into which a number of large, long lettuce leaves and unwieldy herbs have been incorporated. Given that it is often impossible to cut through the spaghetti junction of stalks, what is the best way of reducing one's forkload to a manageable size?
Name withheld, London W6
A. You should load the problem herbs on to a leaf and use the edge of your fork (not a knife) to cut the leaf down to a feasible size. Then, trapping the herbs within it, fold said leaf into an elegantly sized parcel. You can raise such parcels to the mouth and insert without the risk of residual tendrils being allowed to escape in the manner of a panda eating bamboo shoots or, indeed, a human trying to eat a spider.
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