The usual prizes were offered for an estate agent's blurb
about Wuthering Heights, Cold Comfort Farm, Toad Hall or the Castle at Dunsinane.
A large entry revealed a widespread belief in the gullibility of other people, especially foreigners. I was looking for -a proper use of professional jargon, but too many competitors were influenced by travelogues rather than catalogues. In both quantity and general quality, Dunsinane predominated, although Duncan's praise of Inverness was freely transferred southwards. Guy Kendall blamed Shakespeare's geography for his own unscrupulousness. In the end,' despite Nan Wishart, I upheld the purists. Only one competitor called Dunsinane "The Castle of the Play," but several gave the date of its sale as "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow." Guy Innes pointed out that Birnam Wood was within walking dis- tance, and Nancy Gunter drew attention to a "pretty chicken-house." Much invention was lavished on the estate-agents themselves, but, after Mr. Peddy's, I liked none better than R. Kennard-Davis' "Messrs. Kern & Gallowglass."
The other properties were not quite so well served, perhaps because their creators left less to the imagination. For this the Rev. A. Whigham Price should be duly thankful, including, as his entry did, no fewer than thirty-three annotated references to the original text.
After some hesitation over the final order, I suggest prizes of thirty shillings for the Rev. A. Whig,ham Price, whose entry had both verisimilitude and scholarship to commend it, and D. R. Peddy; twenty shillings for Sir James Fergusson; and prizes of ten shillings for Frances Collingwood and D. L. L. Clarke, whose entry was hardly a blurb, but certainly deserved recognition. Honourable Mention to Captain Jewers.
PRIZES (REv. A. WH1GHAM PRICE)
Toad Hall
Handsome, self-contained gentleman's residence, very unique,' of mellowed red brick,2 and dating in part from the fourteenth century,3 but replete with every modern convenience.4 Standing in spacious grounds (approached by fine carriage-drive)5 with well-kept lawns reaching down to the water's edge!' Large boathouse on private creek7 (wooden footbridge),8 well-stocked with many handsome boats.° Notable features include large banqueting hall (very old),10 excep- tionally fine principal bedroom with handsome Tudor mullioned window,1' blue boudoir,12 smoking-room opening out of entrance hal1,13 billiard- room,14 lounge with conservatory15 opening on to gay flower-decked lawns.14 Separate quarters for housekeeper17 and chauffeur.18 Up-to- date sanitation throughout.19 - Old walled kitchen garden,20 orchard,21 paddock (containing grey horse, excellent for caravan work),22 stables,23 coach-house24 (suitable for use as garage and containing parts of six cars),25 dairy,26 wash-house,27 fine backyard and offices,28 henhouse,28 pigsties.30 A unique feature is the recently-discovered' underground passage, running from butler's pantry to riverbank.31 5 mins. from Church, Post Office, and golf-links.32 Has been described as "Finest House on the whole river—or anywhere else, for that matter."33 Present owner reluc- tantly compelled to sell owing to prolonged tour of investigation of H.M. prisons.* (D. R. FEDDY) Dunsinane A regal castle in elevated position, suitable for master butcher in retreat with fine view of approaching w-oodland; excellent hunting, shooting and witching. Attractive olde-worlde internal lighting system using brief candles ; porters ; constant hot water (but installation of softener advised for removing stains). Warm recep., bedrooms in little- used condition ; lynch-gates: - Additional special features include shedding, plots, hatcheries, etc. Admirable for Psychical Research, midnight walks a distinctive feature. Visits to local heaths and caves have been found highly instructional by former occupants; efficient cauldron service available. Convenient Royal Scot, fast thanes to Waterloo. For sale with part possession by Hbcate & Co., The Pit, Acheron (WALpurgis 3).
(SIR JAMES FEROUSSON)
Dunsinane PERTHSHIRE.—For immediate sale, with vacant possession, the strongly fortified castle of Dunsinane, able to laUgh a siege to scorn,
* References are to 39th edn. (1932) of The Wind- in the Willows : 1p. 167/8, 2p. 27, 3. 4p. 168, 5p. 123, 6, 7p. 27,28,f. 257/8, 9p. 28,10p. 27, tip. 135, 12p. 296, 13pp. 125, 294, 14, 15p. 255, 16p. 28, 17p. 45, 18p. 123, 13p. 168, 2°PP. 168, 166, 21p. 274, 22pp. 34, 39, p. 168, 24p. 30, 25P. '75, ' 26, 27p. 168, 2813. 255, 29, 30p. 168, 31pp. 266, 268, 3213. 168, 33P. 29. . . " in commanding position with magnificent views over the valley of thtz Tay. Within easy reach of Perth (6 miles) and Dundee (8 miles). Formerly a royal residence, the castle is rich in historic features, including banquet-hall, armoury, outward walls suitable for hanging,out banners, &c. This handsome residence is in first-class order, having been entirely renovated by the last tenant, and has ample accommodation for entertaining troops of friends, also large stables, mews, and kennels for hounds, greyhounds, spaniels, shoughs. water-rugs, and demi- wolves. Extensive grounds include area of former Birnam Wood (suitably for re-afforestation). Price ten thousand dollars or near offer.
(FRANCES COLLING WOOD) Cold Comfort Farm If you desire a unique farm-residence in beautiful Sussex you will find it in "Cold Comfort Farm." This novel property, one mile from Howling, is situated on high ground within earshot of the sea. The long, low design of the building (nowhere more than two stories, except where three stories were considered preferable) combines durability with origin- ality. It is probably the only flint and stone house in England built in the shape of a triangle which has its outbuildings grouped octagonally around it. Rough-cast stone and thatch has been used in the construction of the latter. An absence of the usual staircase to the attics inside the house eliminates fatigue, and an all-purpose door at the front makes it unnecessary to use the front-door, which overlooks a picturesque ploughed field at the back. An extra large kitchen adds to the amenities, while marble mantelpieces lend distinction to the bedrooms. Lovers of history should note that most of our English sovereigns, beginning with Edward VI, have shown a lively interest in the property. The soil is particularly rich in large stones which are invaluable to designers of rockeries and crazy-pavements. A quick sale is essential.
(D. L. L. CLARKE)
Dunsinane
Scottish gentilman newely callit to thc Courte of the kingis soverano Maiestie at Westminster bath bene plaisit to appoynte that an offer of sale be mayde of his historique hielande Castell-by Dunsinane, somtymo forteress of an antient rewler of Scotland. Easie to come at fromo Edinburgh, for sick as desyre to hie thame thither to mak sport in saisoun, this wel presairvit massie Castell lyeth nie unto Birmham Woode, the whillc hath bene throughely reafforrestit sync it cam unto Dunsinane, being now pleintously providit with creatures of dyvers kyndis and signall qualitie, as venisoun, phaisans and the tyke. This ilke Castell hath lately bene representit upon the stage of the Globe Theater on Thames bankesyde in the peece intitulit Macbeith, whairin may be soghte al °there it excellencies.
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