Mr. Dooley in Paris

By DONAT O'DONNELL . SEE be the pa-apers,' said Mr. Dooley, 'that I me frind Gin'ral de Gaulle has spoken out.'

'An' what did he say?' said Mr. Hennessy.

'He said he wud be there,' said Mr. Dooley. 'In this grave hour, he said, that yawned before the Patrie, he would take care of the Raypublic, if the Raypublic couldn't take care of itself. The Frinch. Prime Minister wasn't a bit plazed with him and arrested a lot of other people that hadn't opened their mouths.'

'Who's the Frinch Prime Minister,' said Mr. Hennessy, 'when he's at home?'

`That I'll niver tell you,' said Mr. Dooley. "Twould be a great mistake for the likes of ye to be tryin' to roll that name round on your tongue. If ye have- to be talking about Frinch politics at all, Hinnessy, and ye might when ye were drunk, ye'd best stick to the gra-and funda- mentals, as it might be Algeria.'

Mr. Hennessy shifted uncomfortably. 'I'd druther not,' he said. `I don't know too much about her.'

'Ye have only wan idea about France,' said Mr. Dooley, shaking his head, 'and it's the wrong wan. Algeria, Hinnessy, is a counthry. And thin again it's not. 'Tis an integgeral part of France situated in Atferica. The Frinch who inhabit it are mostly A-arabs. They're held down by half a million men and spend most of their time commit- , ting brutal athrocities against the Frinch, to whom they are fanatically loyal.' 'I thought you said they. were Frinch them- selves,' said Mr. Hennessy.

`They are,', said Mr. Dooley. 'And thin again they're not. Ye have to remember, Hinnessy, that they're a poor ignorant people who know no more than ye do yerself, and that they're indebted to France for their costly and valyible idducation. Their gratitude is touching to behold. They are all superstitious and vindictive Mahometans, Hinnessy; indocthrinated by the Kremmelin with the pizinous docthrines of atheistic communism.'

`God between us and all harm,' said Mr. Hen- nessy. 'Is all the Frinch like that?'

`Only the integgeral parts,' said Mr. Dooley.

`Listen,' said Mr. Hennessy, shamefacedly. `Listen. There's no one else I'd ask. Is the Frinch white or black?'

"They are and they aren't,' said Mr. Dooley. 'Ye'd never undherstand, Hinnessy, because they're different altogether from the likes of ye. They're a great people to do business with when they're not mistaking you for part of an electrical appliance. I love them all, Hinnessy, from a safe distance. The Frinch know a great deal and they air intelligent enough to put up with it. That's a thought'd frighten you, Hinnessy, if ye under- stood it.'

`This Gin'ral Mossoo, now,' said Mr. Hennessy desperately. 'Is he the same as Mossoo the Goal'?'

Mr. Dooley sighed. 'There's times ye'd think he was,' he said, 'and more ye'd think he wasn't. THE SPECTATOR, MAY 23, 195 Me friend Gin'ral de Gaulle is a man for whom have a great respict, Hinnessy. He's an inconven ent kind of a gra-ate man, a bit like meself. Gin'rt Mossoo is a more modhern hairo altogether. HO intherested in iddyication, illecthricity and sue like. "Listen," he says t' the lad in the burnoose. "ye dirrthy little A-arab, ye are a thruebor Frinchman descended in direck line from Joa of Arc and. Verisembletorix. The real Frinch, however, them that's runnin' this place, is goin to stay runnin' it. In order to prove yeer loyaltY to France undher the most thrying conditions I will. now proceed to bate the livin' daylights outa you.

After that," he says, "if ye are still in one piece: , ye will come and manifest yeer solidarity in front' of the Monyument t' the Dead, 'while singin' tho Marsayaze," says he, "that glorious hymn of lib berty. It always brings tears to me eyes, anl by God it'll bring tears to yer eyes too." Thal Hinnessy, is called the passification iv Algeria D'ye undherstand me now?' ' Light slowly came to Mr. Hennessy. remind me,' he said, 'of Ireland.'

'Ivrythin' reminds ye of Ireland, Hinnessy,' said Mr. Dooley, 'f'r Ireland is the only thing ye knob'.;, anythin' about. The Frinch and the A-arabs have one thing• in common an' that is that neither IS a bit like, the Irish, unfortunately for them. At yet, Hinnessy, I can't find it in me heart to sitY that ye are altogether wrong. When wan counthrY, is convinced that another counthry is an integgeral part of itself, events are apt to unroll thimselves as Hogan says, in a not wholly dissimilar fashan.

`If Gin'ral th' Goal is the right sort,' said Hen nessy,.'l suppose he's up f'r the A-arabs?'

'Me frind Gin'ral de Gaulle,' said Mr. Doole! slowly, 'has a very high ideal of what is joo to 111 A-arabs. The A-arabs are a small bit afraid tha it may not be the same as th' high ideal the! have f'r thimselves, which is to be let alone Gin'ral de Gaulle and Gin'ral Mossoo have tin Much in common, which is their firrm conviction that the counthry—and I mane both the methro pole and the integgeral parts, Hinnessy—ougin in its own interests to be run be the Gin'rals, will' maybe a few Colonels thrun in, seem' it's democracy. Gin'ral Mossoo has therefore been kind enough to set up what he calls a Commit-to of Public Safety. In Frinch that means that i the public don't like the Commit-tee it will 1 safe for thim to keep their mouths shut. Th' Commit-tee consists of Gin'ral Mossoo, his frind Gin'ral Saloon, tin or ilivin Colonels, and student in glasses. Him and his frinds were breakin' up the Government Buildings when III comes Gin'ral Mossoo and asks what he's al "Algeria is Frinch," says the la-ad in the glasse, "and if ye don't help me smash this chandelier us now all form a Commit-tee of Public Safety yer no better than a dirrty A-arab yerself." i`Y8 have forced me hand," says Gin'ral Mossoo, "and that of me superior officer Gin'ral Saloon as he would tell ye himself if he cud spake. Let and burrn down the building. After that we can go down to the Monyument and get th' A-arabs to sing the Marsayaze." ' M r. Hennessy, after a pause.

out for his glasses.' '1 think that student in Algiers will want to watch 'I think,' said Mr. Dooley with deliberation; `What d'ye think will happen in the end?' asked