Q. As the father of two young daughters, I naturally
want their upbringing to be as happy as possible and part of this, I understand, involves toys and dolls. However, my wife and I are forever being given our friends' plastic cast-offs. We have reached the limit of plastic fruit, crockery, cutlery or Lego. Our little Fulham house increasingly resembles a municipal dump; my wife is constantly tidying up. How can I dissuade our 'kind' friends from off-loading their unwanted plastic on to us or buying yet more cheap birthday/Christmas presents that keep the girls occupied only for the time that it takes to rip open the paper? Books, clothes, shoes or donations to school fees, on the other hand, would be genuinely welcomed.
Name withheld, London
A. Your wife can pre-empt any further dumping by telling your friends that your children have developed an alio*, to plastic and they now become hyperactive with an inability to concentrate while handling said product. No one will dispute her claim since parents are endlessly gullible about allergies these days. Indeed you are likely to find fellow sufferers coming forward in the wake of her announcement. Your wife should go on to chatter that 'in some ways it's a blessed relief because now people are starting to pass on old books and clothes to us instead of toys; which are so welcome, I can't tell you how grateful we are'. Your friends will get the message. But leave it at that. It would be going too far to ask for contributions towards school fees.
Previous page
