Uncle Dudley
Dudley was the youngest of the brothers and the one whose unusual ways I most vividly remember. Shortly after the last war he bought a hearse, not because he had any intention of dying but because it was the only vehicle capable of accommodating a favourite armchair, which he duly had fixed to the floor. He entered his hearse by the spacious door at the back; his chauffeur was obliged to use the tradesman's entrance at the front. The expanse of window afforded my uncle an excellent view of the passing scene which former occupants had never enjoyed. When invited to accompany him on his drives I, too, was allowed to use the rear door but was installed less comfortably on a.stool at his feet. My embarrassment was not diminished by the erratic driving of the chauffeur, known in the family as "Drunken George". I used to hope fervently for the intervention of the law but all that we received from the police were courteous salutes. My uncle was also much gratified when members of the Public respectfully doffed their hats.
Although of a kindly disposition, Uncle Dudley had a deep-rooted dislike of the medical and allied professions. Throughout a long life he never once consulted a dentist, preferring to extract his own teeth whenever necessary.
Nor would he have any truck with oculists. When, late in life, his sight deteriorated, I was dispatched in the hearse to Woolworths in Enfield High Street to buy half a dozen assorted pairs of spectacles at 6d each, from which he made his own capricious choice.
He once contracted pneumonia and was ordered to bed with a temperature of 102°. Feeling somewhat feverish he threw open his bedroom windows although it was midwinter and bitterly cold outside. When his nurse promptly shut them, he lost his temper and dismissed her on the spot. Having personally seen her off the premises he went into his front garden and sat defiantly in the goldfish pond for several minutes to reduce his fever. The unusual treatment proved successful and he lived to be eighty-seven. Except for my brother, who is a doctor, Uncle Dudley never allowed any member of the medical or nursing professions to set foot in his house again.
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