YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. Your suggested method for dealing with doorstep collectors for charity was clever (`There's no one in, I'm just clean- ing up here') but for my part I find the entrepreneurial and usually suspect caller at the door easy to handle. It is the embarrassingly hand-written genuine appeal from a respected neighbour that has left me flummoxed. I have no desire to contribute to the charity she supports, but do not wish to seem to rebuff her. What should I do?
CG, Alton, Hants A. Write back to your neighbour enclosing a nominal sum and a friendly letter ex- plaining that you have your own pet charity which precludes you from making substan- tial donations to any other. You should keep a stock of relevant leaflets for the charity you have chosen and enclose one of these in your letter, suggesting that she too might be interested in helping it. In this way you may redirect any moral blackmail.
Q. My husband is shortly to attend his first ever 'working breakfast' at which he will be meeting some American politicians. He has asked me to write to you because he is concerned that he may have to leave the table at a disadvantageous moment. Hav- ing been trained from his early days in the nursery, and then all through school, to go
Dear Mary.
to the lavatory directly after breakfast, he has an almost Pavlovian reaction to his cornflakes. What is more, he is accustomed to expending a fairly lengthy period of time there. Can you suggest some way in which he can avoid the annoyance he will cause by keeping the Americans waiting impa- tiently for his return to the table?
SB, SW1 A. It would be best for your husband to get up in time to have a light breakfast in the Q. What is the etiquette for writing to thank people for wedding presents when they have bought you something off a list? As I clearly chose all the things on my list, I can hardly praise my own taste in my thank-you letter. Equally, as I obviously know precisely how much each present cost, I think it would be coy for me to comment on the giver's generosity. What else does that leave me to say?
MB, Cheltenham A. Why not make the most cursory ex- pression of gratitude before moving straight on to a eulogy about the present- giver? Then say how much you are looking forward to receiving them in your marital home at some unspecified later date. There, you can add, they will see the present which you had coveted for so long and which they so kindly gave you. privacy of his own home before setting out for the working breakfast. He should consume just enough to trigger the expul- sion process. This can then be effected in the normal manner, enabling him merely to toy with his secondary breakfast and — • • with all physical needs satisfied — to give his full concentration to his American companions.
Mary Killen
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