High life
Shooting match
Taki
Gstaad 'victor Emmanuel is the not-so-bright V son and heir of the last King of Italy, Umberto. In the summer of 1978 Victor fired a warning shot above the heads of some Italian playboys who had raided his villa in Corsica and stolen a rubber dingY. The M-16's bullet hit a boat lying far away in the dark. It traversed a bulkhead and almost severed the leg of a young German at a spot in the upper thigh. I wrote the story in the Spectator at the time, pointing out how the people who had attacked Vic- tor were more than playboys, that they fact were dope dealers and small-tone hoods, but also affirming that Victor had 2 long history of playing with guns and shooting above people's heads for laughs. When I wrote the story the German was still alive. He died soon afterwards.
Victor Emmanuel was put in a nine-bY- ten-foot cell in Corsica, was held there for about three months, and has been out ever since, The trial never took place. Rumours have it that Dirk Geerd Hamer's parents were paid in excess of a million dollars for their son's life. It also transpired that the victim was a friend of the dope-dealing playboys who attacked Victor. His sister has certainly benefited from the ensuing publicity and has landed a lucrative modell ing contract as a result. But the fact remains that Victor shot a man, however uninten- tionally, and was never tried for it. PeOPI.e in the know say that the Belgian royal fanu- ly (Victor's mother was a Belgian royal) Put pressure on Giscard d'Estaing to hush tip the affair. The reason I'm hashing all this up again is that ever since I wrote the story the Savoys, i.e. Victor and his three sisters and his wife, have not been speaking to me. Now, having the Savoy family not speak- ing to one is commensurate with losing Confederate American dollars. Victor's IQ has always been lower than his years, while his elder sister, Maria Pia, once used to sell gossip items to the Italian gutter press about royals, but, needless to say, without signing her name. His other sister, Maria Gabriella, dallied around for quite some time a°,° eventually married a man born Robert Zell inger, later Robert Balkany, now Robert de Balkany. As luck — mine or theirs I have yet to work out — would have it, the Savoys' path has been crossing mine for
over a quarter of a century. I always liked Victor's wife, a Swiss girl named Marina Dona, as I used to like Victor until he became a public menace with his guns.
Last week I attended a great party at the Olden and my host told me the next day how the Savoy group had called and com- plained about him having invited me. That is when I got angry. For once in my life. I had given someone a pass, as they say in Texas ranger lingo, and look what I got for it. Most of the papers at the time of the shooting never bothered to report Victor's side of the story. Especially about the Character of the dope dealers and how the boat of the unfortunate German was suspected to have been full of dope.
The fact that Victor was a royal was enough to condemn him outright. His sisters, who live a useful life in Palm Beach all year round, were outraged that someone they knew socially could write and that he could also point out the fact that not all members of the family had the same father — a fact as well known as their father's propensity for men, He always conducted himself, however, like a king should, with dignity and without pretence, and proved to be — in the words of a close associate — 'the bravest man I ever saw while dying slowly, and extremely painfully'.
That is why no one ever attacked Italy's last king, in print or otherwise. His children' are a different kettle of fish altogether. They have lived at best the kind of life I have. At worst, I'd rather not say. The trouble with them is that they never learned to read, and mistook the only article that found a way of excusing the Idiotic Victor for an attack on the house of Savoy. Well, I hope they've learned to read since then, and furthermore I hope that they save their money. People will always have me for dinner however loud they scream. I come cheaper. But if suddenly I disappear, or something happens to me, You will know where to look. Victor has a large chalet near Gstaad, with a shooting 8allery below.