Country life
Money matters
Leanda de Lisle
We must be living in the Bermuda tri- angle of Lottery winners. A man from a vil- lage down the road has just won nine and a half million pounds. He's not an ex-con like the Lottery winner next door, so I'm happy for him. But I do think it would be nice if I could win just the bonus ball cash. I need it, therefore I deserve it.
Our washing-machine has died. They are designed to fall apart after five years, but, with the children and guest bedrooms that form a compulsory part of country living, ours gets more use than most. So, after just three years, it's out with the old and in with the new. To think other people turn over company cars instead. I look on my Citroen ZX Diesel and despair. Anyway, the wash- things. Did I say that? Oh dear. I haven't ing-machine's just the first cheque of the told my husband yet, but the truth is that I week. now think he was right all along. I should The second will be for the sofas we're have been delighted when he started talk- having made. I'm hoping they are going to ing about shrubs instead of yew hedges. I'm be ready for the weekend, as it would be beginning to see what he meant about my nice to be able to park our friends some- taste in gardens being slightly naff.
where comfortable. But I'm also fretting That Scots pine is a pain and it would be about the babies having chocolate-covered rather marvellous to flatten the Lottery fingers, the parents making wild gestures winner's house and place an obelisk there. with glasses of red wine and the singles Perhaps I should ring up the council and wearing studded jeans. I should practise ask what they think. I'm sure all their his- saying 'never mind' so it sounds as though I toric houses experts would agree it would mean it. What's the loss of a few quid be right and proper to take an axe to the between friends, ha ha. pine and dispose of other people's houses Not that it would really be the loss of a even if it put our neighbours up in arms. I few quid, because the one thing you don't can see it now: the business executives do in the country is replace sofas. It's like a revolt. Drunk on half a glass of Australian marriage, you're with them for better or chardonnay they storm the rabbit fencing, worse until death parts you: a one-off waving their mobile phones and beating us investment. Talking of which, we've had about the head with their portable comput- some new garden plans drawn up in the ers.
hope that we could agree on a design that Actually, what I really fear is that we are we could afford. And the good news is that going to do nothing at all. It transpires that the plans have persuaded my husband to the new plans would be as expensive to come round to the view that I expressed in carry out as the last ones. We could get a this column some months ago that this loan, but can you imagine watching a loan house requires an informal setting. get fungal infections or turn into rabbit The walled garden and the huge Scots droppings? It's tempting to go on having pine to the east of the house throw any plans done until our numbers come up. potential avenues off centre. In the 18th Note the optimism? It comes from repeat- century, they would have pulled them ing the mantra 'Ask and you will receive' down, but they didn't have planners and — which is a great deal more therapeutic litigious villagers to contend with. Lucky than 'Get down on your knees and work.' ZX Diesel and despair. Anyway, the wash- things. Did I say that? Oh dear. I haven't ing-machine's just the first cheque of the told my husband yet, but the truth is that I week. now think he was right all along. I should The second will be for the sofas we're have been delighted when he started talk- having made. I'm hoping they are going to ing about shrubs instead of yew hedges. I'm be ready for the weekend, as it would be beginning to see what he meant about my nice to be able to park our friends some- taste in gardens being slightly naff.
where comfortable. But I'm also fretting That Scots pine is a pain and it would be about the babies having chocolate-covered rather marvellous to flatten the Lottery fingers, the parents making wild gestures winner's house and place an obelisk there. with glasses of red wine and the singles Perhaps I should ring up the council and wearing studded jeans. I should practise ask what they think. I'm sure all their his- saying 'never mind' so it sounds as though I toric houses experts would agree it would mean it. What's the loss of a few quid be right and proper to take an axe to the between friends, ha ha. pine and dispose of other people's houses Not that it would really be the loss of a even if it put our neighbours up in arms. I few quid, because the one thing you don't can see it now: the business executives do in the country is replace sofas. It's like a revolt. Drunk on half a glass of Australian marriage, you're with them for better or chardonnay they storm the rabbit fencing, worse until death parts you: a one-off waving their mobile phones and beating us investment. Talking of which, we've had about the head with their portable comput- some new garden plans drawn up in the ers.
hope that we could agree on a design that Actually, what I really fear is that we are we could afford. And the good news is that going to do nothing at all. It transpires that the plans have persuaded my husband to the new plans would be as expensive to come round to the view that I expressed in carry out as the last ones. We could get a this column some months ago that this loan, but can you imagine watching a loan house requires an informal setting. get fungal infections or turn into rabbit The walled garden and the huge Scots droppings? It's tempting to go on having pine to the east of the house throw any plans done until our numbers come up. potential avenues off centre. In the 18th Note the optimism? It comes from repeat- century, they would have pulled them ing the mantra 'Ask and you will receive' down, but they didn't have planners and — which is a great deal more therapeutic litigious villagers to contend with. Lucky than 'Get down on your knees and work.'
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