Class warfare
Taki
ANew York . Alfred Taubman, or Big Al, as his buddies call him, is among the very few very rich men who also happen to be very, very nice, Big Al, former chairman of Sotheby's and still its largest shareholder, is on trial for price-fixing here in the Big Bagel, and the envious hacks are having a field day. This is nothing new. Journalists are experts at arse-licking upwards, just as they are masters at kicking a man when he's down. A weekly rag owned by Henry Kravis — a very rich man who is as rich as
he is unpleasant ran a feature on Big Al making fun of his lifestyle. 'It's unclear that the T-shirt-clad jury will be moved by an arcane violation of anti-trust law, but the prosecution is banking they'll have their doubts about a man who gets a manicure and pedicure in his office.' Class warfare lives, and in the Big Bagel of all places.
Now before I go on about Alfred Taubman, what is wrong with having a manicure and a pedicure in one's office? Personally, I cut my own nails, but I have a barber cut my hair at home, just as I used to have hookers coming to my house, rather than going to the brothel with hoi
polloi. One expects snideness, malice and envy in England, but in Not) Yawk? Capitalism's capital? And from a rag owned by a billionaire? (This is pure conjecture on my part, but I'm willing to bet my last drachma that Kravis, too, has manicures at home; Kravis is Mt 2ins tall, and incapable of ciimbing into a normal barber's chair.) And you'd think the envious ones would get their facts right. When Taubman's diary was read out in court — on a multiplex-size screen in case anyone missed it — it was reported that Taubman was in contact with the 'art-dealing Duke of Marlborough'; but, as everyone except the hacks know, Marlborough may deal in many things, but it's the Duke of Beaufort who deals in art.
Details of Taubman's five 'homes', his Gulfstream jet, and a staff of up to seven personal assistants were read out in court by the prosecution as if they constituted crimes. Now, I ask you, what's wrong with having five houses and a private jet? What could possibly be wrong with hiring more and more people? Taubman is a self-made man, and came up the hard way. Why should he suffer from any guilt? Nobody ever gave him anything, and as the rag pointed out, 'It's just a parade of dukes and duchesses, all with their hands out ...
The broken-down aristocracy aside — and. boy, do they live off him — Big Al is a philanthropist extraordinaire, which is much more than I can say for the rats who are singing trying to save their skin. Dee Dec Brooks, posing as a Wasp patrician, turned stool pigeon, and it makes my blood boil. Her so-called snobbery when she was Sotheby's chief executive was nothing but had manners trying to pass itself off as good taste.
And don't get me started on this English prick, Christopher Davidge. As far as I'm concerned, he combines the ethics of the Clintons with the politeness of the Gallagher brothers. He complained that people at Christie's thought him common. Of course they did. He's even more common than Cherie Blair.
What bugs me is the unfairness of it all. Taubman has employed thousands, helped the poor and the handicapped, and was always nice when on top, Two big phonies are doing their best to send him up the river, and the hacks are enjoying it.
I know all about envy — when I won the Greek karate championship, a newspaper of the Left hinted I had paid all 19 of my opponents to take a dive — but this is ridiculous. Taubman even helped Nixon Doorman, an American adventurer who had married way above his station but had gone through his wife's moolah, to start a hedge fund. I hope Big Al beats the rap and goes on with his life. I am one of the few who have never been the recipient of his generosity, which gives roe the right to judge him fairly. The man is innocent and the government should be ashamed of itself.
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