To enhance the dignity of the West German Bundestag, its

Speaker is to wear morning dress; members are to rise when he enters, and avoid the ostentatious reading of news- papers in the Chamber. A prize of £5 was ofiered for a four-line epigram on this news.

pits was harder than it looked-as patron- ising one's neighbours often is. It was neces- sary to be satirical without vulgarity and superior without smugness, to assail pomp- osity without succumbing to it-and to suggest, as it were, by implication, a nod- ding acquaintance with the mote in one's own eye. No one quite brought it off; and there were, on the whole, too many rather obvious frontal attacks and not enough in- telligent sniping. Ongar began with the proMising lines :

'Goethe revered the pride of courts, Perhaps this change reflects his mood'

but fell away badly; and no one else bothered to explore the literary possibilities. Katy did manage to introduce a somewhat spurious historical note : 'Many a Regency swell

Helped ring Napoleon's knell; Germans prefer an influx Of anti-Bolshevist bucks', and M. S. Pougatch showed considerable enterprise in rhyming 'quieten' with 'Zeitung' and 'dress' with Schutzenfesr; while the least pretentious of the many ad- monitions to the Germans came from \1 oriel Fudge :

serves mention for the most outrageous pun of the week and C. F. E. for the line : 'A standing order-whereby hangs a talc'

from which I have borrowed my title. Sir Patrick Laird, with a foot in each camp, contributed the excellent couplet :

'Let daily papers vanish (more or less) In solemn tribute to a trouser-press' and John D. McIntosh went directly to the heart of the matter with an entry which ended:

'They stand to lose the very thing They stand to gain.'

greatly enjoyed the gusto of John A. S. MacDonald's three contributions, and have awarded him the first prize of £2 for the entry printed below. The balance of the prize-money is divided between Downard and R. Kennard Davis. Runners-up : H. A. C. Evans, Leslie Johnson, Alberick and N. Hodgson.

PRIZES

(JOHN A. S. MACDONALD)

Jackboots off, black ties on : That's the way in the Bund at Bonn. * Order arms and holster passion ;

Illiflichkeit is now in fashion.

(DOWNARD)

Rise and fold your paper, Gay Bavarian, solid Hessian; You will not need your comic strip, The Bundestag's in session.

(R. KENNARD DAVIS)

The Teuton, unaccustomed to be free, Studies the blue-print of Democracy,

(Dress-Manners-Papers, when and how to read 'em) And hopes, In time, to learn the drill of Freedom I (LESLIE JOHNSON)

Formality respect enshrines; Democracy uprightness teaches: And those who read between the lines Will only read between the speeches.

(ALBERICK)

Vanished are pickelhaube and jackboot, Unheard Herr Hitler's thousand-throated Hells!

Enter the Speaker, garbed in morning suit; All rise in silence. Bismarck's spirit smiles.

(N. HODGSON)

At Westminster effete MPs

Loll on the bench and take their ease; At Bonn the Speaker 'lakes parade'- The Speaker? Or a certain Shade?

(JOHN WYNN)

Since dignity falters, oppressed by the mike, And manners, of course, are not worth a mention, Just rise as he enters; then read what you like, With some small pretence of attention.