Singing in the rain
Robin Oakley
Is there perhaps at the bottom of the Thames, slithering back and forth with the tides, a muddy heap of mobile phones, glowing faintly in the dark, some emitting their last faint trills and so interfering with the radar of errant amphibians? I only wonder because nobody every returns to me the mobiles which, to the despair of Mrs Oakley, I lose at frequent intervals.
I use only secondhand untrendy models of no interest to passing youth and I label each one with name, address and telephone number. The last two were abandoned in taxis but never made it to the Lost Property Centre. Presumably it is too much trouble for the cabbies and so they just chuck them in the river. On Saturday, the latest went steaming on in the luggage rack towards East Grinstead as I alighted at Lingfield Park. Goodbye, small friend.
Lingfield itself was wet, cold and almost unraceable. ‘One more shower this morning could have done for it,’ said a mudspattered Richard Johnson as he dismounted from the victorious Happy Shopper, a comparatively rare ride for him from the Martin Pipe stable, whose jockey Timmy Murphy had elected instead to partner Henrietta Knight’s Highland Chief. Richard was probably the happiest man on the course. In the totesport Handicap Hurdle Race he was riding Wee Anthony for Jonjo O’Neill. Wee Anthony, of course, is what champion jockey Tony McCoy’s first mentor, the small-time trainer Willie Rock, used to call AP, telling seasoned jockeys who looked edgy about partnering his more mettlesome beasts that Wee Anthony rode them at home with no bother, and he was only 13. ‘I bet Richard enjoyed smacking that one’s bottom,’ said a press-room colleague.
As Jonjo’s stable jockey, AP has ridden Wee Anthony several times. But the form figures before Saturday read 5560P and he started at 8–1. Richard Johnson, however, joined the leader at the top of the hill and drove him down the slushy home straight to a convincing victory. When I suggested to him that his victory would enable him to score some weighing-room points over the man who pips him every year for the Jockeys’ Championship, Richard grinned and replied, ‘Yes. What’s he been doing on him?’ He noted, though, that the insatiable AP would be happy enough, having ridden a winner at Haydock.
Stable lad Anton Frisby wasn’t certain that the horse had actually been named after McCoy. ‘He should be, though. He’s stubborn.’ And, though he had won the £50 ‘best turned out’ prize for his charge, he was a realist. ‘They say every horse has one race in him. This was probably his race.’ If Richard was happy, so was I. Before my mobile went to join its departed cousins, I had phoned over my bets on the then 6–1 Dom D’Orgeval at Uttoxeter and the 14–1 Briareus at Wincanton, both of whom obliged. That will pay for the next few SIM cards. And at Lingfield I found myself with the embarrassment that two of this column’s Ten to Follow were running in the opening novice chase. Idle Talk and Montgermont were both lined up against the hotpot The Listener. Montgermont was so on his toes in the paddock that I plumped for him at 11–1, with a small saver on Idle Talk. The Listener capsized in the back straight and both Idle Talk and Montgermont were in contention with Bob Bob Bobbin up the hill. In the end, Idle Talk weakened in the heavy ground but Montgermont, who started at 17–2, came away in the straight in the hands of Mark Bradburne to win comfortably.
‘We’ve always thought he was a seriously good horse and that he would be better over today’s three miles,’ said trainer Lavinia Taylor. Despite Montgermont’s impressive showing, though, he won’t be appearing at Cheltenham. ‘He’s too buzzy,’ says Lavinia, who has sold the famous Uplands yard and will retire this summer. ‘Even here we had to saddle him in the stables rather than in the boxes. There he would boil over. He’s had lots of problems with his jumping, too. Mark was taking him over poles this morning and he was there schooling him even on Christmas Day. I would have to shut my eyes if he was coming down the hill at Cheltenham. I haven’t entered him so I won’t be tempted.’ Many trainers were running their horses at Lingfield last Saturday with severe misgivings, simply because two key meetings at Cheltenham and Newbury had been frosted off in previous weeks and with the Festival approaching they needed a run. ‘It’s the worst of the worst. Running good horses in this isn’t very clever,’ said Nicky Henderson, ‘but what do you do?’ The Taylors, too, had been in two minds about running, and co-owner Robert Frozell had thought they might have been aiming a bit high with the Grade 2 contest, calling from New York to inquire if ‘the trainer still had her marbles’. Her response was succinct: ‘If you’re not in it, you can’t win it.’ When the Taylors retire they plan to continue as owners with just the three best of their horses, including the talented Montgermont (whom John would like to see win a Scottish National like their old hero Gingembre, now retired to go eventing). But the three will be split between three small trainers. They want somebody who will treat them as the apple of their eye and be choosing the best race for the horse, not the best race for a big yard full of rich owners. After Montgermont’s effort last Saturday, I should think the Taylors’ phones will be buzzing. Assuming they don’t lose theirs.
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