Imperative cooking: a gem for your shelves ...
AFTER the end of the War of Northern Aggression, a group of Confederate sol- diers arrived in Minnesota to start a new life. They brought with them knowledge of the very best way to bake potatoes — Gen- eral Lee's armies had lived largely on pota- toes. To make Confederate Baked Pota- toes, you need ten five-inch nails. Clean them with sandpaper to remove the rust, then wash them with soap and water. Run a nail lengthways through each potato so it protrudes a little each end. Remove a patch of skin from the side of the spud the size of `a nickel'. This lets off moisture and pre- vents toughening. The nail takes the heat right through the potato. Bake for an hour depending on size. Serve 'with the nail in place as it keeps the potato at the right temperature until opened'.
The recipe is from a gem of a book, Bull Cook and Authentic Historical Recipes by G.L. and B.E. Herter (published in paper- back by Echo Press, $14). Here's another for Spinach Mother of Christ: 'The Virgin Mary, Mother of Christ, was very fond of spinach . . . Her recipe for preparing spinach spread with Christianity throughout Europe. On the eve of Christ's birthday . . . her only meal was spinach.' Briefly boil the spinach, then toss in butter and four chopped cloves of gar- lic, then pestle to a puree.
The Herters are good on larks and robins. Here are excerpts from Birds Saint Thomas Aquinas: 'Saint Thomas Aquinas was born in 1225 . . He was a very bril- liant, kindly man, an Italian by birth. He enjoyed eating food immensely. He became so heavy that his stomach kept him so far away from tables that he could not reach his plate. He was practical as well as bril- liant and kindly so . . . he sawed out a half circle in his eating table so that his stomach could fit comfortably into the sawed-out section. He appreciated birds . . . My favourite birds are meadow larks and robins. Get three robins for every person . . . cut off the breasts [presumably after killing the birds] . . . Brown the breasts in butter.' Then I'm afraid the Herters steam the robins in a pressure cooker. St Thomas, they explain, would have steamed them over water by a grate.
They are good on kings too, and Wyatt Earp. The kings are mostly French but Henry VIII gets a mention. He 'actually never amounted to anything and would not have made a good ditch-digger. The only thing that he ever did do to his credit was to endorse the kidneys made by Elizabeth Grant, one of his many cooks.' The recipe is really rather dodgy. The beef kidneys get boiled in three changes of vinegared water for 20 minutes each before being fried in butter. But there is a charming excursion explaining how lions eat kidneys in prefer- ence to the flesh meat of their prey.
The Herters are much keener on Wyatt Earp than Henry VIII: 'We need men today like Wyatt to put law and order in today's Hollywood.' After telling the whole of his life story they explain that his favourite breakfast at Dodge was 'a half- inch thick slice of beef or buffalo, eye of a rib steak with thinly sliced onions on top between two slices of buttered bread with the butter well sprinkled with salt and served with two fried eggs fried on both sides'. They meticulously list the gentlemen shot by Earp but add that his proudest shot was 'the time I killed nine morning doves No it's not lockjaw. They send him out for the Sunday papers.' coming into a water hole with one shot'. This column has regularly denounced recipe books, but just occasionally you find a corker and this is it. I was given my copy by an American reader, Professor Cole of Michigan, who called my attention to some of the highlights, such as Fish Marie Antoinette: 'Marie Antoinette was an Aus- trian woman [who] became Queen of France and was executed in 1793, may her soul rest in peace. [She] really enjoyed and knew fine cooking. This recipe was her favourite. It is popular in Minnesota.' Again the recipe is not as much fun as the history; the fish is poached, then done in butter. But the Herters are good on prepar- ing food. There is useful advice on skinning catfish, preparing game and sharpening knives — advice today's cooks need much more than recipes. I did not know that you must 'use reasonable care in handling a live snapping turtle. The safest way to handle a turtle is by its tail. Turn the turtle on its back. Tease the turtle with a stick until it strikes at the stick or sticks his head out. Then chop the turtle's head off with an axe. Do not use a knife. You can chop off his claws now or later ... I usually prefer to chop off his claws at the same time I chop off his head.' The cleaning advice goes on for two pages with meticulous detail.
All this is but a warm-up for the tour de force at the end of the book. First there is the way to quit smoking. 'Quitting smoking was never considered a problem at all by either the Indians or the early settlers.' Simply put a wodge of tobacco leaf in your cheek and keep it there. Take it out at mealtimes, then replace it. As it becomes tasteless put in a new one. After ten days all desire to smoke will leave you.
Then there are the recipes for use 'in case of a hydrogen bomb attack'. They point out that on no account should you hide in the cellar, for the pipes will burst and you will be drowned in water, then asphyxiated by sewage gas until you are crushed by debris. You should be in a cave, where you need dried foods (beans, peas, milk etc.), not frozen foods, and at least 1,000 matches. 'In World War II matches in some countries were $25 a box on the black market.' You will also need a rifle and 1,000 rounds of ammunition to kill game birds and shoot looters. 'Bombings bring looting and the looting is done in most cases by so-called friends who live near you.' You will have firewood and animal traps, two 20-foot coils of woven picture- frame wire for snares and 100 fish-hooks. Obviously you will have laid in half a pint of iodine and a year's supply of laxative tablets, and above all five one-pound cans of tobacco. This is your fortune. 'To have a reserve of the above is the cheapest kind of insurance. If you never need it, give thanks to Christ. If you do need it, it is worth more than anything you have no matter how worldly wealthy you are at the moment.'
Digby Anderson
Previous page
