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COMPETITION

Lilliputian

Jaspistos

IN COMPETITION NO. 1908 you were asked for a piece of verse with the rhyme scheme aabb etc, in which no line contains more than two words. In 1727, the year after Gulliver's Travels appeared, Henry Carey wrote 'A Lilliputian Ode on their Majesties' Accession' which is exactly six inches long, the height Swift assigned to his vertically challenged islanders. (It can be found in the Oxford Book of Eighteenth Century Verse, chosen by Roger Lonsdale.) The new palace appointments are amus- ingly described:

Strange pack Sent back; Own folks Crack jokes. Those out May pout; Those in Will grin.

The prizewinners, printed below, get £20 each. Honourable mentions to Philip Stapleton, S. E. Woods, Gerard Benson and Philip Dacre. P. Jewell takes the bonus bottle of Isle of Jura Single Malt Scotch whisky.

The Underclass, Alack, alas, No goal, Get dole, Smoke, drink, Often stink, Have bugs, Take drugs, No leaders, Fast breeders. How come So dumb? Faulty genes? Baked beans? Quite simple Ask Dalrymple!

Marco Polo, Trekking solo,

(P. Jewell)

Some say Found Cathay.

Master Columbus Utilised compass, Telescope, sextant - America extant!

Scott's goal South Pole. Norway first! Party cursed. (Nick Hobart) Constantinople Attracts people Who yearn To learn How crusaders As invaders Sacked A packed City Without pity, Although We know The motive Was votive And their Conscience clear. (David Edelsten) Fifties frocks, Snoopy socks, paisley shirts, micro-skirts, tie-dyes, kipper ties (polka-dotted, pre-knotted), flared trousers, frilly blouses, skimpy knickers, winkle-pickers - questionable treasures unquestionably measures of youth's sad truths. (Mike Morrison) Seminar, Hotel bar, Try phone, Busy tone, Secretary, Bloody Mary, Midnight sandwich, Body language, Fourth floor, Bedroom door, Stolen kiss, Illicit bliss, Late again, Lipstick stain, Instant grief, Consult brief. (Roy Davenport) Aunt Marigold, Arthritic, old And tottery, Won lottery. Relations, dozens, Nephews, cousins, Widely scattered, Wheedled, flattered.

Aunt, offended, Will amended, Weeks later Met Creator. Kinsfolk livid; Language vivid. Claims disallowed; Felines endowed. (0. Smith)

No. 1911: Unspoken and unthought

Thomas Hardy in his journal proposes 'a list of things which everybody thinks and nobody says, and a list of things which everybody says and nobody thinks'. You are invited to supply items for both lists (a maximum of ten in all). Entries to `Competition No. 1911' by 7 December.