Motoring
Dream on
Al an Judd CCheered as ever by proximity to opu- lence and privilege, I wondered at dusk through London's Green Park as the lights came on in those expensive and elusive apartments that run down from the Ritz and make a world above the plane trees. I shall never have one but the fact that somebody does makes it possible to dream. And so to further dreams at London's Motor Show, gleaming, curvaceous, unattainable beauties. Most had four wheels, some had two legs. The latter were marvellously attentive and all the better for bl eing smartly dressed rather than bikini- cad. Accustomed as I am to waves of femi- nine adoration wherever I go, this time I was forced to concede that it might actually he because it was press day, from which the Public were thankfully excluded, and the gir.ls were desperate to practise their sales kskills on even the most unlikely-looking ,unYer. Or perhaps The Spectator press badge has a peculiarly compelling effect. Whatever, if you're lonely and desirous of attention, forget traditional or fashionable remedies, waft into a motor show. You might enjoy the cars, too. I browsed among Land-Rovers, taking in the new Freelander which is claimed as star of the show. First impressions were so- what-ish but I'm sure it will sell well and I'm due to test it, so let's wait for that. There was much purring among the new Jaguars but I get one of those to test next week, so we'll wait for that, too. I lingered by the new Subaru Forester — also soon to arrive on test — and loitered by the impressive Isuzu Citation. There, a very nice, well-heeled and well-hatted lady told me about it while charmingly demonstrat- ing how difficult it is to get in and out of even large cars without embarrassment, and while wearing anything at all striking in the hat line.
I couldn't rake up much enthusiasm for the new small Mercedes because I like all Mercedes to be large and luxurious — opu- lence again — but I did like the new Passat TDI estate. Ferraris, Morgans, TVRs, Aston Martins etc. all conformed to expec- tations. Outside, at the artificial 4X4 course — a hill and a puddle through which you're driven rather than drive — 1 waited in vain for the out-to-lunch Land- Rover crew and took instead a ride in the mighty Ford Explorer, best-selling 4X4 in America and fourth best-seller overall. I can see why. They're here in limited num- bers will present but Land-Rover and Chero- kee will have to watch out. Try one.
Upstairs I dreamed and swooned among the classic cars. They're not all classics; some are simply little-used old cars, such as the pristine S-registered 4,000-mile, £4,995 Austin Maxi. What tempted me most was Paul Forty's 1967 gun-metal grey Jaguar 340 for £9,995. It reminded me of my own late-lamented 340 (cost £2,250), stolen when left for one night on a London street. I can't — I mustn't — but I took its num- ber. • - Back downstairs all the ladies were still hard at it and Ms Isuzu's hat was firmly back on her head.
What an awful job it must be. Selling anything involves selling yourself and that is a weariness of the spirit — having to be all things to all men, having to parrot the patter, having to smile until your face aches and having above all to sell, to get people to part with tens of thousands of pounds for things they have already. It's probably the same for the men but there isn't quite the same brittle desperation in their good cheer. Perhaps they're more confident, or complacent. Or perhaps I'm getting old, and you just have to be young.
One man full of genuine good cheer, however, was Bernie Joel, who was selling a new car just launched by the largest British-owned car manufacturer, which is — would you guess? — Manganese Bronze Holdings. They own London Taxis Interna- tional and they've just produced a new black cab. Knowledge and enthusiasm bub- ble out of Mr Joel. He is descended from a hackney cabbie and loves taxis.
This new one was my star of the show. Designed by Devon Thorpe, the TX1 retains nearly all the good features of the FX4 cab we've known and loved for 40 years, including the chassis and the popular Nissan 2.7 litre diesel engine. Its lines are even better, slightly more rounded and with a more shaped, pleasingly snub, nose. It is roomier, has an integral child seat, a power-point for mobile phones and lap-top computers, wheelchair access, reduced noise and pollution, external handles that light up when it is for hire (suggested by a passenger) and various other safety and comfort features for passengers and driver. The only good feature dropped are the FX4's rear-opening doors — another bit of Euro-nonsense claiming spurious safety concerns. What evidence is there that the FX4's rear-opening doors were more dan- gerous than front opening? However, the TX1's doors are bigger and they open very wide, so they're not awkward. It might actually help the export sales this car richly deserves.
I thought it impossible to improve upon the FX4 as an example of a near-perfect match of design and function, but the TX1 does it. For £25,000 you should be OK for half a million miles and you can use it as an office. What's more, Ms Isuzu can get in and out without losing her hat.
The last day of the London Motor Show is Sunday 26 October.
`His girlfriend's the kind of woman who stops traffic.'
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