Q. I have been brought up to write thankyou letters,
but I feel increasingly out on a limb as so very few of my contemporaries ever seem to bother. In the circumstances, do you think it is priggish of me to continue sending out these letters where they might serve to highlight the rudeness of my friends who have attended the same parties but have not written? I am 22.
M.B., Wootton, Oxfordshire A. Everyone is delighted to receive a thankyou letter — even if they would not have written one themselves — because it indicates an appreciation of the effort that has gone into entertaining. Also, in today’s helter-skelter world, the tangible evidence that an event has taken place is of value to the general archive. There is a scale of pomposity, however. It would be excessive at your age to have your own cards from Smythson. Stick to National Gallery postcards (or similar), in envelopes, until you are 25. Leave your friends to suffer the consequences of their discourtesies. As a general social rule, to adapt the SAS motto, ‘Who cares wins’.
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