26 OCTOBER 1991, Page 27

Oops-a-daisy

Sir: I have long admired your 'Unlettered' column and wonder whether your readers might enjoy examples of equally stimulating telephone conversations with switchboard operators. May I offer the following for your first column?

Caller to The Spectator: I wish to write to the Deputy Editor can you please tell me his name?

The Spectator switchboard operator: Simon Heifer.

Caller: How do you spell that, please? Switchboard: Like little cow.

Caller: H-E-I-F-E-R?

Switchboard: No, H-E-F-F-E-R.

Caller: Er, thank you very much . .

Jim Anderson

2 Barnsbury Terrace, London NI