AFTERTHOUGHT
Three foolish men
JOHN WELLS
Questions may be asked in Parliament fol- lowing a Keystone Cops style chase rumpus at London's Heathrow Airport last night when three illegal immigrants attempted to stage an ad hoc news conference in pacifist protest against an extradition order signed personally by the Home Secretary, Mr James Callaghan. The three men, a Zambian, a Pakistani and a South Korean, all unem- ployed, were wearing hippy type costumes and jewelled ornaments, and were alleged to have been in the possession of various sub- stances. Three camels, Mizpah, Rebecca and Leah, were also being held in the RSPCA'S quarantine building last night pending arrangements for their return to their country of origin. An RSPCA spokesman de- scribed their condition as 'very chirpy' considering the cramped accommodation on board the El Fatah Charter Flight Dakota in which they had travelled.
It all began when the Dakota, with hurri-
cane lamps winking, touched down on Heathrow's number three runway early yesterday after an uneventful flight from Amman. As the engines came to a standstill and the steps were wheeled into place, ground staff began to become suspicious as the doors remained closed, the hubbub of angry voices grew louder within, and the aircraft began to rock violently from side to side on its landing wheels. When a large section of the aeroplane's lath and canvas fuselage casing was kicked through and the struggling rump of a camel appeared, their suspicion changed to alarm. The airport police were alerted, and RSPCA officials raced to the quaking aircraft.
Brushing aside the protests of El Fatah's colourfully-dressed air hosts, the three men led their camels down the steps—apparently the disagreement was over whether the camels and their swaying burdens could be said to constitute 'hand baggage'—swung into their intricately worked leather saddles, and found themselves confronted by a re- ception committee with helmets and trun- cheons, lit by the flashing blue and orange lights of the airport's emergency service vehicles. They at first declined to dismount, claiming that they were on a religious pil- grimage, and that they had come to pro- strate themselves before an infant guru, who, if astrological predictions proved cor- rect, might prove to be the incarnation of the Creator of the Universe.
The three men were then persuaded by the airport police to get off their camels, and to accompany police officers to the medical wing for further questioning. It was at this stage, according to the first impressions of the immigrants themselves, that they received the head wounds, bruises and contusions on the scalp that police doctors attributed to 'falling against the door' of the insane ward where they were then incarcerated pending further inquiries. There the matter might
well have rested, had it not been for the presence, by chance, at Heathrow of four free-lance journalists who had already in-
terested themselves in the 'child guru' story, and whose pressure on the immigration staff resulted eventually in the three visitors being •
permitted to give a brief press conference before they were repatriated.
Looking sorry for themselves and in handcuffs, the little party was ushered into the press conference room at Heathrow shortly after ten o'clock last night. Ques- tioned about their head-bandages, on top of which each of them was still wearing a battered 'crown', their improvised slings and generally battered appearance, their spokes- man, the Zambian who gave his name simply as 'Mister Melchior', said that at first they had been under the impression that they had received these injuries while being assisted to dismount from their camels, but that it had been later explained to them that they had in fact been self-inflicted, albeit involun- tarily, as a result of falling by mistake against the door of their temporary quarters, and this explanation satisfied them. They had also been visited during their brief de- tention by a personal representative of the Prime Minister, whom he referred to as 'the King Herod Wilson'. The Prime Minister, they had been told, was most interested in their story, and had sent to inquire of them diligently where the young child lay so that once the Nigerian civil war had been dealt with he could visit the child personally and extend to him that compassion he felt for all children, whatever their race, colour, creed or degree of emaciation.
Unfortunately, the spokesman explained, they had been unable to give any precise geographical reference as they were, in their own phrase, 'following a star'. They had explained this to Home Office officials, who had taken their case to the highest authority, but Mr Callaghan had ruled that 'following a star' did not qualify as a guaranteed em- ployment, and that their credentials were furthermore inadequate even for the issue of a temporary transit visa. They accepted, Mr Melchior went on, that they were in no way the victims of racial discrimination, but that in view of their reception they had come to the conclusion that they were unlikely to find the object of their pilgrimage in the British Isles, and were planning to move on.
It was at this point that Mr Melchior ex- pressed concern about three packages, said to contain objects of value, which had been confiscated at the Customs and Excise office. A brief battle of glares ensued, in which airport police and Customs officials glowered, growled and showed their teeth, and then the three visitors displayed signs of panic and ran. A spokesman for the Airports Authority confirmed late last night that three stretcher cases had been taken aboard a special flight to Amman, that the camels would follow shortly, and that nothing more had been heard of the allegedly confiscated substances.
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