Good clean fun
Sir: Brian Masters (`Strange death of the English euphemism', 13 February) would have revelled in the contribution to this subject made by Sir Noel Goldie QC, for many years Recorder of Manchester, a leg- endary eccentric and the kindest of men.
As the prosecutor rose to open yet another sad little case of two middle-aged strangers detected in flagrante through a urinal keyhole, he would habitually — in order to keep the grubby details from the reptiles of the press — bark, in interrup- tion: 'I've read the papers in this case. Just the usual features, as I recollect. Nothing unnatural, no nasty French practices, am I correct?'
`Indeed, my Lord,' the well-trained pros- ecutor would reply, 'nothing indecent.'
`Very well, I needn't trouble you further. Each of you men will be fined £10. Your sexual proclivities are none of my concern, but you must understand that it is my duty to keep the public lavatories of Manchester clean.'
Michael Lever
Lakelands, Rivington, Bolton, Lancashire
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