Report on the Motor Show Competition

THE Editor offered a prize of two guineas for the best brief

Ode to a Baby Car." The time given was perhaps not long enough to allow of a large number of entries—about a hundred were received-L-but the theme seems to have been a highly inspiring one judging from the quality of the verses. The majority of parents are extravagant in their praise of this " youngest child of mass production "—to quote from an attempt—some are very bitter in their denunciations of its precocity and arrogance, only two or three are detached and contemplative. The new baby in fact, is looked upon either as a dirling or as a confounded little pest. We quote three complete odes and two stanzas of another, in which the baby car is addressed in varying moods by salesman, purchaser, and purchaser's wife. The first ode, by Mr. J. M. Smith, is awarded the prize

Thou dear diminutive of motor ways !

Thou low-browed progeny of princely sires !

I cannot find it in my heart to praise Thee; sauciest of all things wearing tyres.

I mark the pert pretentiousness that apes Thy high-powered ancestry with but a fraction Of their cylindrical capacity, Thou arrant jackanapes ! That leav'st e'en lordlier forms of motor traction Far in the wake of thine audacity.

Who hath not seen thee often in the Town, In midmost traffic threading thy thrifty way ? Or on a highway holding still the crown 0' the crowded road cocksure in thy power to stay, Spite of the compressed quartette thou dost carry Within the fabric of thy squat saloon ?

A little bounder, thou, too, when sweet pairs Of lovers think to marry ; They see thee as thou art, an artful boon, O Baby, mayhap born to carry theirs

Barry Schoolhouae, Carnoustie.

4, * *

Thou wrecker of homes ! Thou cuckoo in the nest !

No fairy changeling thou, but goblin damned, Ousting our children, robbing us of zest For homely pleasures, and for journeys trammed ; 0 parasite and pest !

Thou consequential pigmy, smug and spruce, Recounting tales of how thou goest the pace, Boasting what thou canst do on little juice,

And lording it—like all thy upstart race—

As if thou own'st the place !

1 give thee houseroom ? Do without a maid ?

Rely on thee instead of catching trains 7 (" Yes, topping, dear. Can't think why we delayed.") Gadflies like thee I've squashed on window-panes ! (" —For one like this I've paid.") A. F. Y3LuErr.

5 The Avenue, Truro.

* * * *

0 my darling ! 0 my pet 1

Merry times we'll have together !

You shall have a garagette,

I will clean your paint and leather.

You shall bear me to and fro,

Naught shall of my love deprive you ; -All my hien& will stare, and 0 ! I shall be so proud to drive you. Iinmaculately bright .thy surface, gleams, Oh, Baby Car ! the idol of my dreams.

When in " Olympic " glory I admired Thy dainty form, I promptly went and wired Rome for the cash wherewith to make thee mine,

Arid-take thee with me to thy garage-shrine. What matters it within thy cushioned ease

My chin's so ,perilously near my knees,

That we accelerate whene'er I sneeze !

It only shows your willingness to please. Then threading through the city's traffic, where To follow thee no large car would dare, We.nft meander round and round a tram To pass the time when in a traffic-jamb.

And e'en when Fortune has my coffers filled,

And I may own a car of ampler build,

I swear I'll wish that my new love may perish. 11;110y, thee ever cease to cherish.

Lower Farm, Horning, Norfolk.

ROLAND