Your Problems Solved
Dear Maly Q. This summer I spent a couple of nights in an hotel in France. The friend I had been staying with suddenly had rather a lot of people so I volunteered to go to the hotel — quite a good holiday trick if there are a lot of children about.
Usually when I check into an hotel room I never make use of the drawers or the wardrobe. I just scatter my things about the room so that when I leave I need only glance around to make sure I have not forgotten anything. This was quite a nice little hotel, (a favourite of the late Auberon Waugh)*, and on this occasion they had unpacked for me and hung up my clothes and effectively hid a suit which I did not notice was missing until I went on to stay with friends further north and wanted to wear it.
The hotel said they would keep it for me and — because it might be a year until I return — the woman I was staying with said she would call by and collect it and bring it to London on one of her frequent visits. The trouble is timing — she never knows till just before she comes when she is going to be in London and each time she has rung so far has coincided with my being out of London. I live alone and I do not know any of my neighbours in Mayfair or indeed anyone who is in all day and available to take in parcels. I know it is a small problem but this is my favourite suit. What should I do, Mary?
B.F., London W1 *Auberge du Poids Public in Saint-Felix near Toulouse A. Arrange the handover by finding out the opening hours of a thy cleaner conveniently located for your Londonvisiting friend. She can drop the suit there and post you the collection docket. It will be a small price to pay and, judging by the way you throw your things around a hotel room, it is probably in need of a thycleaning in any case.
Q. I work at home. A friend without a job often rings me hoping for a lengthy chat to entertain her and help her pass the time of day. When I say I can't talk for long she replies, 'You work too hard, you should take it easier,' without any sense of irony. I have to bite my tongue to avoid snapping at her. How can I cut these conversations short without causing offence?
C.M., Shaftesbury, Dorset A. Greet your friend pleasantly and begin to chat to her with enthusiasm. Meanwhile ring your own front-door bell or bang on a surface. 'Oh gosh, someone at the door!' you can ciy. 'Can I call you later on?'
Q. I used to enjoy travelling up and down to London on the train because I was able to collect my thoughts and get a lot of reading done. Now, even in the quiet carriage, I find people breaking the rules and continuing to bawl out full details of their boring private lives. How can one shut up these self-dramatisers without risking injury to oneself?
A. de Z., Taunton, Somerset A. Simply travel with your iPod and topof-the-range earphones. In this way you can block out their babble, even if you do not bother to switch on your portable entertainment system.
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