MY colleague Christopher Fildes will be pleased to know that
his Gastrodome Fac- tor (City and suburban, 13 September) is alive, well and positively flourishing in Brompton Cross. There, Mr Ahmadi, pro- prietor of the bustling brasserie Le Palais du Jardin in Long Acre, has recently opened, at clearly enormous expense, a triple restaurant plus food shop complex in the former Harrods depository at the top of Draycott Avenue, where restaurants per square foot surely exceed in density any- where else in the land. At La Belle Epoque you can eat and drink your way through the day, with breakfast, lunch, tea or dinner at the modestly priced Brasserie, lunch and dinner at mid-price in La Salle restaurant on the ground floor, and dinner only in the opulently appointed, hugely expensive L'Oriental restaurant on the sous-sol.
It is here that the Fildes factor is most notably in operation. Your pre-dinner glass of champagne, ordered from Le Bar, will cost a mind-boggling £14: is this a record? On pointing out that a glass in the Brasserie costs a mere £4.50 and a glass of Perrier-Jouet still keeps in single figures at £5.50 in La Salle, I was firmly put in my place by Mr Ahmadi. La Salle's Perrier- Jouet was a mere non-vintage; here at the elegant Oriental I had been served Perrier- Jouet La Belle Epoque 1989, which I should consider cheap at the price. The fact that I had not been warned or offered a choice was brushed aside. I then noticed that this bizarre attitude to wine-pricing seemed to apply throughout the Oriental list: £24.50 instead of £14 in La Salle for Muscadet, £29.50 instead of £22 for Pouilly Fume, £63.50 instead of £47 for Puligny- Montrachet. .
The cooking in L'Oriental isn't worth what it costs either. Portentously described in the PR blurb as offering diners 'the opportunity to sample the best in East meets West cook- ing not available elsewhere', L'Oriental is attempting to emulate Vong in the Berkeley Hotel, with conspicuous lack of success. The menu is elaborate, with never previously encountered dishes described in detail. My sister Elizabeth chose to start with sticky duck dumpling with roasted papaya and pineapple broth, and I ordered steamed shrimp and lobster wonton with a cumin and citrus glaze (£13). The waiter, who seemed unable, or forbidden, to leave us in peace throughout the meal, complimented us on our choice. How comforting!
When the starters eventually arrived, some rather flavourless canapes (`with the compliments of the chef) having been pro- duced in the meantime, they were tiny and tepid. Elizabeth enjoyed her duck dumpling, though she felt that the sticky gravy on which it was perched could hardly be described as a broth, and I found my wonton to be overcooked and under- flavoured. Constant demands as to whether everything was all right added little to our enjoyment. During the long interval before the next course tiny bowls of langoustine broth (with further compliments from the chef) were served with oversized spoons. Then came seared scallops with prawn ravi- oli on a coriander miso oil for Elizabeth, and roasted sour-glazed squab with a pick- led red onion chutney, Chinese chive and corn galette with shaved fennel for me. There was, predictably, a ritual lifting of huge domes to reveal prettily decorated plates with midget portions thereon. Nei- ther dish tasted conspicuously of its named ingredients. After another long wait, filled by an extra dessert (gelatinous and anony- mous) with yet more of a by now exhausted chefs compliments, came the two jellied lychees with a Yin Yang sauce (£7) that I had ordered. Though surrounded by bits of fig, banana, passion fruit, star fruit and cape gooseberry, the lychees in their corn- floury jelly made little impact. With coffee and a bottle of Gewiirtztraminer (£24.50), plus the aforementioned glass of cham- pagne and my dry Martini, the bill came to a staggering and unwarranted £132.50 for pretentious cooking in self-consciously `smart' surroundings. I shall not be return- ing, and you have been warned.
What made L'Oriental all the more dis- appointing was that lunch in La Salle and breakfast in the Brasserie were both thor- oughly enjoyable. La Salle's decor is less ornate than L'Oriental's: palm trees (fake), attractive wood, white cloths, blue chairs and plenty of light. I took the fast-rising photographer Adrian Houston there to cel- ebrate his birthday with his girlfriend and we all had a splendid time. Kicking off with a birthday half-bottle of Perrier-Jouet NV (a perfectly reasonable £16), we all enjoyed our starters of carpaccio of beef with but- ternut squash salad, grilled medallion of tuna with tabouleh and fennel, and roast scallops on braised Puy lentils. Next my rack of lamb with marjoram polenta, spinach and ratatouille was a pleasure to eat, and the others much enjoyed fillet of halibut with clam, mussel and potato mariniere, and roast sea bass with confit of fennel and orange and aniseed nage. With good desserts, coffee and a bottle of excel- lent Crozes Hermitage 1994 at an eminent- ly reasonable £17, the total bill for the three of us, including 121/2 per cent service — in L'Oriental it's 15 per cent, naturally — came to an acceptable £153, and I shall be happy to return.
I was also entirely happy with the Sunday breakfast I took with Schlieffen-Planner David Damant at the Brasserie. The atmo- sphere was cheerfully laid-back, the sun shone and the initial buffet for £6.50 offered all kinds of goodies. There were fresh fruit juices and fruit, delicious com- potes, yoghurts, muesli and cereals, plus every known variety of croissant and cold meats and cheese. This was followed by a wide 'carte' of cooked breakfast dishes, with ham and eggs for £3.50 taken by Damant and admirable fish cake in a cream and chive sauce, surmounted by a poached egg, much enjoyed by me. Filter coffee was first-class, though cups should be bigger at breakfast time. I can confidently recom- mend La Belle Epoque's brasserie to any breakfaster in the area.
La Belle Epoque, 151 Draycott Avenue, Lon- don SW3; tel: 0171 460 5000. La Brasserie and La Salle open all week. L'Oriental open for dinner only and closed on Sunday.