YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. I recently sustained a gardening injury to my knee. How can I best disguise the rather large scab during my forthcoming holiday in the South of France, where I will be in a party of people and getting in and out of the pool all day?
A.L., Hungerford, Berk A. There will be no need to disguise it. People are always fascinated by the appearance and development of scabs. They are rarely seen these days on a knee, but are so redolent of childhood and all its simple pleasures.
Q. Your central London correspondent who wished to avoid the trouble of mak- ing herself look respectable each time she left the house was advised to wet her hair and carry a towel to give the impres- sion of being en route to the gym. Surely a more comfortable alternative would be for her to acquire, from somewhere like Whiteleys in Bayswater, an everyday obiyah as worn by our female guests from the Middle East. Having lived in Saudi Arabia myself, I can testify to the instant anonymity and consequent mental relief this garment can afford one at any time of day. Name withheld London, W1
A. How kind of you to write in.
Q. Whenever somebody holds open the door for me I always utter a loud and cheerful `Thank you very much'. But what is the cor- rect expression of gratitude when there is a double set of doors to pass through, as, for example, in a bank? Does one say thank you at each door, or merely at the second one? If one omits to say thank you after the first door, the polite door-holder may think one is snooty and consequently not hold open the second door. On the other hand, one feels slightly silly uttering two thank-yous in close succession. I have tried making the first thank-you a little louder than the second one, but is that an acceptable way out?
A.K, Calgary, Canada
A. Why not affect to stumble and almost collide with your door-opener at the second door? This will enable you to vary your responses by crying out, 'Goodness, I am sorry!' before adding, 'Thank you again.'
Q. I own a flat in Fulham and have rented a spare bedroom to the daughter of a friend. She is a delightful girl, but always fills the kettle up to the brim when boiling water for tea on our gas stove. I find this a madden- ing waste of time and money. How can I stop her, without appearing to be too much of a policewoman every time she comes into the kitchen?
S.B., London SW6
A. Get hold of a slightly defective gas click- er of the type used by Frenchmen. Hide all the matches and lighters and leave this next to the stove. When the impotent clicking starts, you can rush into the kitchen saying, `Sit down. I'll do it.' This will enable you to nearly empty the kettle before putting a secret supply of matches to use.
Previous page
