YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. My husband and I live in a block of mansion flats in central London. For years the landlords were ripping us off over the service charges. Eventually I formed a Res- idents' Committee and, together with the seven other leaseholders in the building, we have managed to buy the freehold. During these negotiations we talked at length with the Greek couple in the flat below us. My problem now is that the husband has start- ed coming up to our flat almost every night, as soon as he hears us coming in, and stay- ing for the whole evening talking and talk- ing and talking — every subject seeming to send him off on a tangent about another subject. He has clearly been starved of any social activity for many years before the alibi of the Residents' Committee enabled him to make friends with us. We do not wish to be rude but how can we stop him from coming up?
Name and address withheld A. Why not use a.variation on the ruse of keeping a hat and coat by the front door — 'I was just going out' — which clearly would not apply in your case, having been heard by your torturer as you come in. Keep a handy bath hat and all-enveloping bath towel by the front door and a face-pack
Dear Mary..
which you can dab on at a moment's notice. Open the door, smiling through said face- pack, and splutter, 'Oh good, it's you! Do let me ring you when I'm out of the bath.' You can then ring downstairs and issue an enthusiastic but specific invitation for him to come to tea, drinks or supper, at some date in the future. The important thing is to establish that yours is a friendship based on infrequent though special occasions, rather than on daily encounters.
Q. I often come in and find my wife yatter- ing on the telephone to her friend who lives 50 miles away. This is always at peak time and when she really should be getting on with other things. I bitterly resent the waste of money and time but she always hisses, 'She rang me.' As we do not get itemised bills I cannot check up on who really rang
whom. What do you suggest?
A.M., Fonthill A. Next time your wife says 'She rang me' you can check the veracity of her claim by marching straight to the telephone and clicking down the receiver buttons with your fingers. If, when you release them, the line has gone dead, then you will have exposed your wife in her deception.
Q. I am planning to buy some of the 1982 clarets being sold at Christie's this Thurs- day. As they come from the estate of the late Sir Robert Maxwell, I would welcome your advice on how long I ought to wait before drinking them in order to maximise their full conversational potential?
A.B., W8 A. These wines should probably be drunk by 1994. By then, most of the revelations which are likely or incipient will have emerged in court cases. If you buy a case it may be appropriate to save a bottle or two to use in the event of further revelations. Incidentally, Robert Maxwell was never knighted.
Mary Killen
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