Q. About to depart abroad for a year, I had
some friends in for farewell drinks. As they were leaving, I invited them to help themselves from the box destined for Oxfam in the hall. One picked out an ashtray and said, 'I gave you this.' And she had. Maiy, how could I have responded at this mortifying moment?
S.J.B., London SWI A. You could have chuckled loudly, 'Ha ha ha! You fell for that one, didn't you? I put it there deliberately to tease you.' By using this classic fall-back excuse you would have spared your friend's feelings, if you had wanted to spare them. Some readers may prefer the approach taken by Nancy Milford towards unwanted presents. As related by her sister Diana Mosley in A Life of Contrasts, one Christmas Day, as the Mitfords opened presents in the drawing-room at Asthall Manor, Nancy unwrapped a present from Diana which the latter admitted in her memoir was not quite up to scratch. 'To my enormous admiration she put it straight on the fire,' recalled Lady Mosley.
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