29 JUNE 2002, Page 63

Q. A very close friend has recently been appointed chancellor

of a neighbouring diocese. Normally modest and self-effacing, this minor honour appears to have had an adverse effect on him. I understand that he has taken to using a special chair, complete with scarlet cushion, in the church which he regularly attends. How can I persuade him to desist from this somewhat pompous behaviour? I am worried that he will become aware of the uncharitable whisperings of parishioners who are comparing his behaviour unfavourably with that of the Lord Chancellor.

R.P., London W1 A. Sometimes whoopee cushions speak more eloquently than words. Arrange for one to be substituted while the chancellor is on his feet during hymn-singing.