29 NOVEMBER 1997, Page 31

CITY AND SUBURBAN

That's not Gordon's dog, it's an independent dog, so don't blame him when it bites you

CHRISTOPHER FILDES

The Green Budget confirms my belief that Gordon Brown has been watching Inspector Clouseau. This explains what he has been doing with the Bank of England. Pink Panther enthusiasts will remember the scene: 'Does your dog bite?"No, my dog does not bite.' There, there, good doggy, pat, pat — grrr, gnash, ouch, nip, crunch, ow! 'But I thought you told me your dog did not bite.' That is not my dog.' So the Chancellor lets the Bank off the lead, and it sinks its teeth into borrowers — most obvi- ously, borrowers with mortgages — and having been bitten five times in six months they turn shy, and their friends complain to him, but he can happily assert that it is not his dog. It is an independent dog. Certainly it is a fierce dog. No one, he said, can doubt its determination. What is more, for two pins it would bite us again. That would be our fault, for teasing it. If we turn greedy and ask for more pay and get it, we shall suffer: 'It is in no one's interest if today's pay rise threatens to become tomorrow's mortgage rise.' That lends a set of dentures to the Chancellor's toothless mumble about the rewards of taking less pay amid a shared sense of national eco- nomic purpose. One welcome inference from all this is that Eddie George as Gov- ernor must be secure, and that we shall hear no more from the Treasury's wind machine about appointing someone more emollient when his term runs out on 30 June. For the Chancellor, there would be nothing to gain from unleashing this dog and then trying to call it to heel.