ENDPAPERS
I Know a Bank
By LESLIE ADRIAN
1 SUPPOSE that the sus- picious nature of bank managers arises from the curious character of their business (lending money that they do not have) and the fact that, in general, their valuation of people has to be in money terms. When a bank manager says, `He's worth so much,' the so much is expressed
The bigger your balance, the stand with your financial man from Uncle Bank.
All this, and a great deal more, whizzed through my head when I read about the National Provincial's credit cards last week. With one of these and a cheque-book (which implies an account, in this instance) you can now extract cash from more than 2,200 Natpro branches all over the country. Gone are the days when, pushed for a pound or two away in the wilds of Keswick, I dashed into a branch of my London bank with a request for accommodation (no, I didn't want to sleep in the strong-room), only to have to pay for a trunk call to my branch in Kingsway, who had the nerve to recommend' me, through a solemn-faced cashier, not to draw my last few sovereigns.
That was not the National Provincial, I hasten to add, and J did draw the tiny sum. But it struck me at the time that that bank was being just a little possessive. I transferred the residual shillings to another bank, just to see what difference it made. Not much. But some months later when inquiring about an idiotically minute deposit account at the new bank, I was told that I did not have one. As I had one at the previous bank I went back and asked what had become' of it. It was still there, said the man at the counter. Why had they not transferred it? I had only asked for the current account to be transferred, he said.
I had banked with that particular company, in and out of London, for twenty years, yet they treated me as a oipher, and still fought like tigers to keep my pitiful business when I changed branches, let alone banks. Only twice in twenty years was I overdrawn 'beyond a few bob. The first time the branch manager grilled me as if I had applied to be a Queen's Messenger, not just for a loan of £20 for. two weeks. The second time a sub-manager refused me a £500 loan which caused me to lose the opportunity to buy a house that would have been an ironclad security, sup- posing they had needed one. Since then I have looked sourly at all bank advertisements, especi- ally when they show avuncular, trimly mous- tached gentlemen smiling across expensive desks. I feel that I've helped to buy those desks, but the chaps behind them always say No : smilingly, of course.
Have I been unfortunate, or perhaps I've made the whole thing up? Now hear this. A journalist of my acquaintance asked her bank for £50 five days before her monthly payday so that she could go on holiday. The manager asked her what she earned (which he should have known), asked her where she was going, when she was coming
in pounds sterling more upright you
back, and how she would survive on her return. After a half-hour of such importunate question- ing, he graciously consented to the request. The same bank had figured in the City columns about that 'time as having advanced several millions to a new enterprise, and was, presumably, short of liquid funds.
Another equally honest citizen, not notably good at keeping track of her account on cheque- book stubs, went three pounds over the top when paying by cheque at a department store. The bank at first refused to honour the cheque, ringing up her office ,to tell her so, but was per- suaded not to bounce it on the grounds that a salary payment was due within two or three days. Finally, there are tales of branches where clerks consult account card indexes whenever customers come in for cash. This always looks bad, and for some sensitive people it feels bad. It's not a matter of benefit of the doubt. There should be no doubt.
There is a lot, perhaps, to be said on the credit side, and the banks are usually to be heard saying it. One senior official I know in the Big Five says that a great deal depends on the branch manager's attitude towards his customers. I cannot help feeling that that in turn depends on how much each customer is worth in LSD, which may be sound banking practice, but can be awful public relations.
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