Truth and Lies
It sometimes seems I only need to lie Still for a moment — and in it floods, the sea Of surging water, blue and bright as ice, From which there is no refuge, not one rock Or cave in which to shelter or to hide . . Yet all this happens only in my mind.
My doctor says there's nothing in my mind Which needs attention — but that's just a lie For all I know, a vain attempt to hide The truth, to stem the savage rushing sea. Sometimes I wake at night and cannot rock Myself back to sleep: often I'm cold as ice.
The future glitters sharp as sun on ice, It dances in the chambers of my mind - Although the music sounds a bit like rock, So that I prefer to sit or lie As if I were a bather by the sea Or spotting birds from the warm dark of a hide.
But then it is impossible to hide The truth, although it often cuts like ice - At some point the bather has to brave the sea, At some point out of sight is out of mind - But even this is better than the lie Of the land which sags seawards in crumbling rock.
The sand upon the beach was once a rock, I sometimes think — the doctor cannot hide The truth for ever, go on prescribing a lie. `My dear,' he says, 'Your fingers are like ice. `Have you considered mittens? Would you mind `Taking a winter holiday by the sea?'
Why is it that all roads lead back to the sea? I feel the known world begin to rock, The water table rises in my mind.
I want to flee inland, I want to hide - If only tides could be locked up in ice But how can truth be thawed out from a lie?
The doctor says no sea can ever hide The tallest rock: his words grip me like ice. Deep in my mind, I ache for a comforting lie.
Lawrence Sail
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